


Black and white emotions

by Mechanical_Heart



Series: Android's emotions [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Bittersweet, Broken Heart, Erotic tention, First Kiss, First feeling of love, Forbidden Love, How does it feel to be an android, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Melodrama, Robot/Human Relationships, The feeling of nothing, android sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-26 06:04:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mechanical_Heart/pseuds/Mechanical_Heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Data, the absent-hearted android who wished to feel love. Maro, the broken-hearted hero who was lost in his own despair. They start a complicated love affair that cannot have a happy ending. Or can it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Destroyed past and new beginnings

Disclaimer: I don't own any Star Trek characters. This is only a fanfiction. I gain no profit of it. (Maro and Quo are my OCs.)

 

The story is set before Data has the emotion chip installed, in 3/4 of season 6.  
  
BLACK AND WHITE EMOTIONS  
/ chapter 1 /  
  
**Destroyed past and new beginnings**  
  
„The giant empty corridors of the Enterprise remind me of emptiness of my own heart.  
I am aimlessly wandering through them without knowing where to go. They seem infinite.  
So infinite and yet I know I will never meet my beloved there.“  
  
/ 1.01 /

Maro lied in the hospital bed, facing the wall. The anaesthetic medications were slowly fading, but his mind was still too hazy. He felt the pain in his body only faintly. The memories of last days were mixing into his nightmares. Fire. Explosions. Chaos. People were panicking, shouting and crying. Repetitive computer warnings. Blood and dead bodies everywhere. More and more explosions. Everything was flashing with red emergency lights.  
  
„He will wake up soon. He has moderate injuries, but he will be alright,“ said doctor Crusher to the Captain, while standing near patient's bed. „I am looking forward to talk to him,“ replied captain Picard with a smile „he just saved thirty people with a very risky ship maneuver, he is a hero for everyone. What do we know about him?“ „His name is Maronell Elto Rowiello, human, age 28. He is a pilot and engineer. Quite a loner, he does random odd jobs for the Federation, always away with his spaceship on some mission.“ „Odd jobs? Well, his spaceship was destroyed, so now he will spend some time on the Enterprise,“ said the captain, smiled and left the hospital.  
  
Few hours later, the less hazy Maro's mind was, the more painful his body felt. Badly broken arm, two broken ribs, lot of burned skin. Of course it will heal soon thanks to modern medications, but now it hurts like hell. „Where... where am I?“ he asked slowly. His last memory was about authorising the self-destruct sequence on his own spaceship, then leaving in a small shuttle to save people on the burning station QED Sigma. It was under attack of two enemy spaceships. Explosions and chaos all around.  
  
But now he was in a modern hospital bed, and everything what happened seemed only like a bad dream. Nothing more.  
  
„Welcome on the Enterprise, sir,“ he heard a woman voice.  
  


/ 1.02 /

Few days later.  
  
Maro was standing in Ten Forward, looking out of the giant window, watching stars with a glass of synthehol. Yes, he was a starfleet officer in a proper uniform - but he still caught a lot of attention because he didn't look like a typical one. Was it because of the leisure posture? The frown on his face and unfriendly behaviour? Or because his dreadlocks falling on his shoulders? Dreadlocks with wires, metallic beads and technical components. He looked and behaved more like a space pirate than a starfleet officer. His aura was somehow dangerous. You would not trust him.  
  
The recovery went well so far. His body was less painful, hand almost healed. Only the nightmares did't stop. He hoped that leaving the hospital into more sociable place will help him. It didn't. The bar was full with people talking and having fun, but he didn't feel like joining them at all. He rather stood near the window and watched the universe, while sipping the synthehol.  
  
He felt sorrowful.  
  
Hopelessly lonely.  
  
On the last mission, he killed his best friend.  
  
He couldn't get it out of his head and it hurt deeply.  
  
Until now, he was sure they would die together one day. But there was no other option how to save people on QED Sigma. One had to die, so the second could save them. Hell, and he didn't even manage to save half of the people, only 30 survived of the 78.  
  
„That was impressive,“ someone said to him. But Maro didn't even look around. „You destroyed two fully armed enemy spaceships only with one small ship, smartly programmed in self-destruction. I saw it from the QED Sigma camera records.“  
  
Finally, Maro turned to the speaker. He saw a strong self-confident man of high rank. „Commander William Riker,“ the man introduced himself with a giant smile, handing him a hand. „Everyone hopes you will join the crew here on Enterprise.“  
  
Such words from the commander were giant honor, but Maro didn't feel thrilled at all. He felt so torn inside, yet he could not show it. „I'll consider it, thanks,“ he replied only politely. „I am  Maronell Rowiello, call me simply Maro. If you excuse me,“ and he emptied his drink in one gulp, put the glass down and left the bar.  
  
His behavior was rude, yet he didn't care. He didn't want to hear praise about killing his spaceship, his best friend. It was not just a metal. Not just a thing. It was not Maro's fight strategy, it was his friend's suicide.  
  
His spaceship might be small, just for few people. It did't look special, it didn't have heavy weapons, it wasn't even top modern. But it had a special program installed, a program of artificial intelligence, named Quo. They've spent five years together, and most of the time only two of them alone. No one can understand how strong their bond was. No one.  
  


/ 1.03 /

In the end, to concentrate fully on a non-stop job seemed like the best idea. So he accepted to stay on the Enterprise in the engineering team. He worked hard since waking up until feeling absolutely exhausted. He did every job, complicated repairs, regular maintenance, cleaning the machines, anything.  
  
He couldn't be alone just with his thoughts, because that was incredibly painful. Job was the only possible distraction.  
  
Although Maro was clever, skilled and very hard-working, the crew had weird feelings about him. Something about him seemed dangerous and untrustworthy. And it was't only his eccentric hairstyle (which he had to tone down anyway). He was too much unsociable. He never talked to anyone if not necessary, never smiled at anyone, always asked for jobs to repair something alone, if possible in a place where no one ever goes.  
  
„Yesterday, he spent 19 hours non-stop working on random things and I really don't feel comfortable to see him doing so much work all over the dark corners of the Enterprise,“ said one engineer to his team, while Maro was away. „He's not doing anything bad, I check his work all the time,“ said Geordi La Forge, the head engineer. „Really? You can really check him 19 hours per day? He doesn't even talk about his work any more. He always says only one word: Maintenance. Hell, I just hope we won't blow up the Enterprise, because he totally looks like he could do it!“ „Hahaha!“ That was a good joke!  
  
Although he was laughing now, Geordi knew the whole situation wasn't actually that funny.  Maro was truly brilliant engineer, but his asocial behaviour troubled everyone. Was there even a way to make him cooperate with the team?  
  


/ 1.04 /

To repair a broken food replicator. It's an easy boring job that no one wants to do. Yet Maro loved to do that – he could do that hundred times and enjoy it ever.  
  
„What is your technical id number?“ he always asked first. The answer was plain: „My technical id number is 96 84 07 P 39.“  
  
It was one trivial repair. To open the smooth case and discover everything hidden inside. „Oh dear... 96 84 07 P 39, it looks like your pattern generator is burned.“ „The food replicator is out of order,“ was the automatic answer, set as response to all queries. Maro just smiled slightly and touched the colourful cables inside like strings of beloved musical instrument. He disconnected them from the burned pattern generator gently.  
  
„I am afraid I cannot save your old pattern generator, darling. It will be bigger operation, I have to exchange it completely, but you'll be fine, I promise.“  
It was natural for him to talk to the machine. Although its answer was always the same:  
„The food replicator is out of order.“  
  
The repair went smoothly and after he put the cover in its place, he smiled to the fancy panel: „96 84 07 P 39, you are in full spirit again! What shall you say to me?“ A simple thank you would be a natural answer from an intelligent being, yet a food replicator knows only the automatic answers: „I am a food replicator, able to prepare 308 398 dishes. You can place your order.“  
Maro's smiled widely, to a big warmhearted smile. That was a good answer!  
  
Yet his smile disappeared in one painful second, when he remembered the memory about the same situation, which happened on his last spaceship. No matter how sweet 96 84 07 P 39s answer was, it was not what Quo would answer.  
  
Three months ago, he repaired a food replicator on his spaceship and finished it easily. Then he also said something like: „What shall you say to me?“, awaiting at least little thank you from the ship. Yet the answer he heard was: „What shall I say? REALLY, Maro? It's your life-important responsibility to have a functional food replicator. I don't need food – you need it.“ such a cold strict answer, typical of Quo.  
  
Now he was in a room alone with an ordinary food replicator, which could say only few automatic answers. Oh god, how soulless every machine seemed against Quo! The wound in his chest opened again and it felt like his heart will burst in every second, overwhelmed with nostalgia.  
  
There was no Quo anymore.

 

/ 1.05 /

 Maro didn't pay attention to his coworkers at all. So everyone was surprised, that he actually run to the group when commander Data visited the Engineering.  
  
„No one told me you have an android on board,“ he said enthusiastically, examining Data from head to toe. He scanned his body just once, then his stare stopped at Data's eyes. Their height was similar, so he could stare into the artificial yellow irises directly. „Interesting,“ said Maro and smiled widely. What a shock for his coworkers, to see him smile for the first time!  
  
Data was a bit surprised, too. Last days he heard so many complaints from Geordi, how the new coworker is uncommunicative and morose. And yet, the same person was standing in front of him with the most warming smile. Plus the intense eye-contact was unusual but somehow friendly.  
  
„I am Lieutenant Commander Data,“ the android introduced himself and smiled automatically in response.  
Maro didn't even move, didn't even give him his hand. He just stared into that eyes.  
„Call me Maro. Wow, really a commander? Since when does starfleet build special androids for commanding positions? Or are you the prototype?“ This was so interesting and suddenly  billion questions were popping in his head.  
„Yes, I am a starfleet commander,“ Data replied „But I have not been constructed especially for this function. I decided my career myself. I studied at Academy like everyone else. I was not constructed by Starfleet, but by Dr. Noonian Soong. I am not a prototype, although I am the only android working in this position,“ Data answered all his questions subsequently, not missing one.  
  
„Wow, that's interesting.“ said Maro, still smiling widely, still gazing in Data's eyes. And Data gazed and smiled back at him, just because that were his automatic response settings. He didn't feel anything, the smile was just a mask. Only in his system he marked Maro as a potential new friend.  
  
Geordi was watching them, standing nearby. There was something about Maro's smile he didn't like at all. It did't feel sincere. Or maybe it seemed only too bizarre, because Maro never smiled?  
Nevermind, Maro finally talked to someone!  
„So, is this the first time you see an android?“ Geordi asked just for the sake of conversation.  
„No...“ replied Maro, eyes still fixed at Data's eyes. More than five years ago, he was in love with empty eyes like his. God, that brought back some awful memories...  
„I have worked with androids before, in the repairs. But they were different... I have never seen one so...“ he stopped, searching for the right words „...complex and multipurposal. Wow, and even with an actual free will.“ There was a mocking tone in that last sentence, now Geordi heard that clearly.  
  
Androids. The cold soulless puppets. Was Data like those, as well? Let's play a little game...  
  
„Can I join your repairs team? I would really love to,“ suggested Maro.  
„That is not neccessary. I do the basic diagnosis and repairs myself. The occasions when I need help are rare and the team is firmly set,“ Data replied.  
„Oh, bad for me... I wish I could see you naked.“  
  
Geordi's jaw dropped. That guy is boldly making fun of Data!  
  
Data noticed change of Geordi's expression, and his smile slowly faded. Was that flirting? Or only a joke? Good joke or bad joke? He couldn't tell. He didn't have emotions, so in times like this he took hints in expressions of his friend's.  
  
„Why?“ the android frowned and slightly tilted his head.  
„I want to examine your mechanics. For example your shoulder mechanics. There are many ways of holding the shoulder, depending on the usage of the arm.“  
Oh so! Now everything was clear – Maro's interest is only professional. So Data told him in one very long sentence full of robotics terms how his shoulder mechanics works.  
„Cool. Really. But I still wish I could see that. The technical terms are not as delightful as seeing it working with my own eyes.“  
  
There was a pause, Data finally breaking the eye contact, to look at Geordi. Shall I permit it?  
Geordi was shocked how naive Data was. It took only one big insincere smile to convince him that Maro is a friend who can be trusted. But if Geordi forbade it, wasn't that only a proof that Data has no free will? „Do what you want,“ huffed Geordi, eyes burning into Maro. No, Data would never be so stupid to-  
  
„I can show it to you later,“ said the android with a friendly smile.  
It took him only 0.003 seconds to think this through. This was not a suggestion he would give to anyone. But considering that Maro was a cybernetic expert and how Geordi was worried about Maro's social skills, he decided positive. Making friends with Maro will help him blend into the crew, will make him communicate more. This permission was made for the sake of the team.  
No, he wasn't stupid. He was considerate, always helping his friends, no matter how banal or dangerous the situation was.  
  
„Ha,“ chuckled Maro victoriously. It worked? How unexpected. In the end, he's just another soulless dummy...  
  
Yes, he was interested to see his arm mechanics, but that would be foolish. Better not get involved with an android who is important for the Enterprise. He was aware of his own fast heartbeat, but he also knew that definitely, by no exception, he cannot lay a hand on this one android.  
So let it end before it begins.  
  
„You know, you shouldn't tell such naughty suggestion to a stranger,“ declined Maro sharply „you would really show me your inner parts with no shame?“  
  
Geordi's jaw dropped one more time. How dare he?! His hands curled into fists, but he still managed to keep composure.  
  
And Data just stared blankly for few seconds, smile faded instantly. For the first moment it even looked like that words hurt him.  
„I do not have feelings. I cannot feel shame,“ replied Data with no change in his voice „but I think that no machine ever feels shame towards its own engineer.“  
  
Maro felt Geordi's angry gaze and it wasn't pleasant at all. Yes, this should be enough barrier between him and Data.  
Then Maro left without saying goodbye, with a cynical smirk on his lips.  
  
And Data stood there, staring blankly few more seconds, then returning to his work like nothing happened.


	2. The broken portrait of Maronell Elto Rowiello

BLACK AND WHITE EMOTIONS  
/ chapter 2 /  
  
**The broken portrait of Maronell Elto Rowiello**  
  
„How many times can one human heart be broken into small sharp pieces? And still love again deeply, sincerely and passionately? Only once? Twice with poison? Three times with self-denial? Four times with despair.“  
  
/ 2.01 /

Let me tell you the story of Maronell Elto Rowiello. He's not really bad person. He is just different.  
  
Since early childhood, he wanted to be an engineer and cybernetist. Born in a federation community, in a rich loving family, he spent his childhood completing robotic toys and constructions. Then he started to play with the domestic appliances. It wasn't unusual to find the child with a completely disassembled vacuum cleaner, sitting surrounded with its parts and investigating them closely. He was fascinated by it. And usually he could put the machine back to its original state with no problem.  
  
It wasn't extraordinary that a boy was interested in mechanics.  
The weird thing was that Maro called every appliance by name and behaved to it like to a friend. It was creepy. He didn't have any human friends – his friends were robot toy T.U., vacuum cleaner Rooo, food replicator Hulo, turbolift Neena and home computer Wee. And he knew every single fact about them, much more than one could read in the manual.  
  


/ 2.02 /

He was always outstanding clever, so no wonder he got into the Academy. He might be brilliant in robotics studies, yet he was absolutely lost in maintaining human relationships. 16 years old boy, and still with no friends, and even absolutely no interest in romance and sex. Until one day...  
  
His life changed when he met a cyborg girl.  
  
She was human, with one robotic hand and robotic legs, which she got after an accident. And he was fascinated by that body, her existence occupied his every single thought. He fell deeply in love and he would do anything to be with her forever.  
His heart was pure and loving back then.  
  
Only because of her he fought his own fears and daemons.  
Only because of her he overcame his inner social barriers.  
Only because of her he didn't give up.  
  
Later, they started dating and for the first time he experienced the excitement of touching robotic body parts. So similar to his, yet functioning differently. Her human body was so warm and soft, yet he preferred the coldness and hardness of her metal parts. When he felt her cold fingers on his chest, when he heard the mechanics of her hand working, while her hand was moving down... he felt the rising excitement and the time stopped.  
  
He loved her deeply and truly, all of her. But in bed he preferred to touch her metallic parts.  
She misunderstood and left him.  
  


/ 2.03 /

The first time that cyborg girl broke his heart was extremely painful. He spent weeks hidden in his room, crying desperately, absolutely on bottom. He never wanted to see humans again. His machines would never abandon him, would never hurt him. If anything was broken, he could fix it.  
But he couldn't fix a human heart.  
  
Oh, how much he was mistaken, that machines cannot hurt him!  
They could, and it was actually worse.  
  
Even now, seven years later, he still thinks that working on station XY was the worst decision of his life ever. He took a secret job in repairs of a sexdroid brothel. He was so excited for this job at first, working with androids has been his ultimate life dream! But what was happening on XY shattered all his world instead.  
  
There was a whole giant storage hall of scrapped androids, damaged beyond repair.  
Their remains to be used as spare parts. Their artificial skin was torn and cut, hair ripped out, skelets crooked, even body parts missing. Maro couldn't believe such cruelty. And staff of XY? They didn't care at all. Those androids were built for this usage. They were robots without feelings, anyway. Once someone bought a sexdroid, they could do whatever they wanted to it. It was programmed to agree with everything.  
  
That day, Maro lost all ideals.  
  
Once he had believed that even people can be good friends and nice companions.  
Hell no.  
No, people were the most cruel beings ever. They enjoyed to hurt, to destroy, to humiliate.  
  
Once he had believed that machines are the most useful and interesting beings in this world.  
Hell no.  
No, they were just soulless puppets. They didn't care to be hurt nor to hurt, to be destroyed nor to destroy, to be humiliated nor to humiliate.  
  
After he started to work there, he realized it every single day.  
  
Within that pitch black darkness, he desperately sought the light of one true love, in which he once believed. The only little light that was worth to live for. It was easy to fall in love with one seductive sexdroid and make him only his. But was it possible to make the android feel something as well? Not only to make him say soullessly „I love you“. Not only to put his body in sexual positions as programmed. He so much wanted to make him feel, make him feel that burning sensation of love within all of his body. The same love he felt for him.  
  
Simulated emotions. Yes. It was possible to simulate them with little programming, pretend play and overload of sensoric net. Nasty process that left a lot of damage, both physical and emotional, but it worked.  
  
Their passionate love lasted for two years. It broke the android countless times.  
  
And one day, during one of the emotional break-ups, the android couldn't take it anymore. His system couldn't handle the strain. He would rather be an empty machine than feeling anything.  
In one minute, he deleted all memory.  
It was unstoppable and final.  
Maro couldn't do anything. He just stared and felt his stitched heart changing into a cold, black stone.  
  
Then he decided never ever love again, bought own spaceship and left alone into space.  
  


/ 2.04 /

The only companion on board was the spaceship intelligence, he named it Quo. When he first installed it, it was a basic intelligence, like many ships had. He had to do it, otherwise he would go crazy, months alone, trapped in a small spaceship, only with his dark thoughts, with no one to talk to! The purpose of it was clear – to keep him sane.  
  
But it was still so boring, he just had to change it with many updates. Like, giving it an appearance. And a simulation character. Over the years, he did hundreds of smaller or bigger program changes. The result was impressive – Quo was extremely strong-willed character, everyone who met him had the feeling he talks to a person, not to a computer. He was a powerful, courageous man and did know very well how to make Maro obey his commands. Yeah, Maro set the intelligence program into maximum level of autonomy - if Quo wasn't in the lead, Maro would sooner or later kill himself.  
  
No wonder he fell in deep romantic love for the third time. But this was so different, their relationship wasn't sexual at all. Quo never allowed it. They didn't share a single kiss, yet they cared for each other like the most precious lovers.  
 

/ 2.05 /

„You may enter,“ he heard a female voice of the counsellor. No wonder they strongly advised him to visit her. He really overdid it yesterday, releasing all his emotions onto the poor android.  
  
Maro entered the room without greeting. He sat down into an offensive position, eyes burning arrogantly into the woman before him. Anyone could tell this position was saying: So what the hell do you want to do with me here?!  
  
But Deanna Troi knew this was only his mask. And she could feel the pain leaking through splits of this imperfect mask.  
  
They met once before, she visited him when he was still in the hospital. She thought the incredible pain she felt from him was from his injuries, from his nightmares. But now, fully recovered and fully competent, the pain was no less intensive. How careless of her, she misunderstood his situation. She had to sit down, and it took her all not to cry.  
  
„I am so sorry,“ she said quietly „I am so sorry for your loss.“  
It took Maro by surprise. Those were the first words of sympathy he heard since that day. His face expression softened.  
Deanna could feel his emotions clearly, he wasn't able to hide them. „It was... it was your spaceship, right?“ she guessed quietly. „The one you miss so much.“  
  
Once the words were spoken, they hit Maro's heart like an arrow. So sharp and deep. Yes, he missed Quo, he missed him so much, so much he couldn't go on anymore. He didn't want to cry now, yet he couldn't hold the tears. He looked on side, unable to look at her. The hypnotic dark eyes of that beautiful woman could see completely through him. In reality, he wasn't the tough dangerous villain. In reality, he was only a sensitive man with a broken heart.  
  
„Tell me about your ship, tell me anything you want,“ she whispered softly.  
  
She waited quietly for minutes, until he wiped his tears and started to speak slowly, looking down into the floor.  
  
„I... I wish I died on QED Sigma. I wish I died on that mission. It would be only fair.“  
  
„But the fate decided otherwise. There's no use to dwell on the past. You can't change it. And today, you are still alive.“  
  
He smirked. „Yes. Because of that idiot. God, I am so pissed at him! He made many decisions against my will in the past, but this time he overdid it!“  
  
Deanna smiled softly. Finally he wants to release the pent-up anger. Good step forward. „Who is he? What has he done?“  
  
„Quo... my spaceship intelligence. He was my... best and only friend. He... dear god...“  
He could remember every detail of that incident clearly. It was part of his nightmares every night. The huge monitor with picture of burning QED Sigma and two alien spaceships firing into it. Quo standing in the foreground, cool and composed as always, the perfect blond officer with icy blue eyes.  
  
„Suddenly he shoved me the activation of auto-destruction on the monitor... and ordered me to say the code... I told him I can never do that! He had enough autonomy will to do that himself!! But no, he wanted me to say it, he wanted me to kill him! With a cold expression he told me everything's over and that I need to end it and go on. And there was no time to think, there was no time to argue, QED Sigma was under attack and this was the only chance to save it. He ordered me again to say the code. So I just said it.“  
  
Maro's face was hidden in his palms now, he didn't want to show his tears. „I received... one last message from him when I was in the shuttle... it wrote... I did it for your future... good luck in your new life... and shit like that...“  
  
The atmosphere was very emotive, tears going into Deanna's eyes as well. Maro didn't understand yet, but she could see how much Quo cared for him. Why he did what he did. In reality, making Maro say that code was an important psychological step.  
  
„To hell with my new life! I only wish to see him on the monitor again. To hear his voice again.“  
  
„...but you won't find him on the Enterprise, not even in its dark corners. You know, your separation only makes everything worse,“ said Deanna gently and then added with a sharper tone, imitating Quo: „I order you to find few friends.“ He raised his head, face still wet from tears but with a cynical smirk. „You don't have the right to order me anything.“ „Oh, really?“ she smiled at him playfully.  
  
And he returned that smile.


	3. Our peaceful days on the Enterprise

BLACK AND WHITE EMOTIONS  
/ chapter 3 /  
  
**Our peaceful days on the Enterprise**  
  
„It were the smallest details. The motion how you touched the screen pad. The words you used while talking. The precise hairstyle you made everyday exactly the same. The smallest, tiniest details of your personality I noticed and found adorable. And before I knew it, I was in love with you.“  
  
/ 3.01 /

The next day, Maro apologized for his behaviour to the entire engineering team. It was short, but clear. He also decided to spend less time on repairs and more time on the Bridge. To lessen the tension among his coworkers and to change the surroundings.  
  
Many people found the job on the Bridge the most interesting. He would rather stay with machines, than doing a basic support here. But it was for his best, or at least Deanna said so. Because it made him communicate with people, and he had to be polite no matter what. He shouldn't be isolated now.  
  
It was expected to see commander Data there, too. To Maro's surprise, the android's presence made him feel much better. Watching him distracted the dark thoughts entirely. There were so many questions about Data and he was wondering about the most possible answers.  
  
Maro was surprised how popular the android was. He might be a machine, but he was still very sociable and talkative. He did his work diligently and quietly, but in the break time he was always having a conversation. „Hell, he has even more social skills than I have,“ thought Maro. And yet, Maro didn't dare speak to Data. He didn't want to cause more troubles than he already did. Because he was well aware that getting involved with an android again could end disastrously.  
  
Soon Maro realized, that Data is actually well aware of his attention. Although Maro didn't talk to him directly, nor he stared at him for long, Data knew he is watching him. Their eyes met twice in a short time, and although no one in the room noticed that, it felt like a slight electric shock. The questioning gaze of Data's yellow eyes was too much intensive.  
  
On the next break Data approached him directly. „Maro, is there any reason you do not want to talk to me?“ the adroid asked. „I accepted your apology.“ This situation confused him and he wanted it to be cleared. He knew he caught his attention, he knew Maro was watching him all the time, yet Maro ignored him every time they had the opportunity to talk.  
  
Maro sighed. And then answered with a question: „Is there even anything we can talk about?“  
  
„Yes,“ the android answered positive „for example I would like to know more about your previous job with androids.“ In reality, Data was eager to talk to him himself.  
  
But his question was not a good one. Maro sighted again. No way, he can't tell here before everyone that his job was repairing sexdroids.  
  
„That's really an interesting question, I am sure we all would love to hear about that,“ commander Riker joined the conversation. Maro looked at him. Now he had to answer. He was sure that only because of Deanna's intervention was Riker still talking to him.  
  
„Oh, please, don't take me for an android expert. I have never built one myself. I was just a young student, earning pocket money in the repair team,“ he answered simply, hoping such answer will be sufficient. It may be enough for Riker, but not for Data – this topic was too interesting. „What kind of androids were they?“  
  
So many direct questions! And on a topic that Maro didn't like to remember again. Back then he learned how cruel people can be. Back then he saw androids only as soulless sex toys, that do anything you tell them without a single feeling. He lost all ideals. It took him long time to shed that darkness from his soul.  
  
„Not all androids are so complex as you, Mr. Data,“ he smiled „in comparison to you, they lacked any charisma.“  
  
Data accepted that answer without further questions.  
  


/ 3.02 /

Data didn't feel anything towards Maro. That guy just caught his curiosity, his previous job was interesting. That was all. Data would like to know more about those other androids, even-thou they „lacked any charisma“. What did he mean by it exactly? And how was he different?  
  
After their very first meeting he opened file with Maro's biography, but there were no records of such job. Did Maro deliberately lie? Or was the job illegal? Now he had more informations, he could search more widely. It was easy to find places where Maro studied and then find stations with androids nearby.  
There was only one.  
  
„Oh.“  
  
If he could feel an emotion, he would tell he was shocked. The informations about station XY were insulting for any android. They literally denied the basic rights of artificial life! The androids were even used for the worst sexual practices, to sate the worst deviants. „Why does it matter if you damage a machine? They don't feel anything. If you wreck it, we will just build a new one,“ the owner excused all the cruelty. But according to Data's moral program it was inexcusable.  
  
He had all documents read in a few seconds, but it took long minutes to sort his thoughts afterwards. He just sat and stared blankly into space. He could imagine himself in such situation. And although he might agree that he wouldn't feel anything at all even in those acts, his moral program would not allow it. This was the wrongest, cruellest sort of humiliation. He was glad that station was shut down three years ago, after long protests. Otherwise, he would destroy it himself, anyhow.  
  
But how will this new information change his behaviour towards Maro? They said he was dangerous, he did not believe so. But now he started to. Was that a strike of fear he felt shortly? No, it definitely wasn't. He was an emotionless man made of tripolymer composites, how could he fear?  
  


/ 3.03 /

Since then, he started watching Maro as well. Safety reasons only. What was he doing on the Bridge, where was he going and when, if his repairs were done well. So far no problem detected.  
  
Meanwhile, he studied his body closely. Height 178 cm, weight about 86 kg, but mostly muscles. Brown eyes, brown hair, dreadlocks reaching only to his shoulders. Now only four metal beads as a decoration, models ISDJ989, ISDJ089, ISDJ934 and ISD9304 made in replicator. He sometimes put little machine components into hair, too, although it was against regulations. Only friendship with Deanna Troi, neutral relationship with most of the crew. Geordi still didn't like him, although he always said that he's a good worker. 33.2% of his work time he spent on the Bridge, and 66.8% on random mundane repairs. He worked overtime everyday. When they were together in the same room, he was unobtrusively observing Data 83.4% of the time on the average.  
  
Those were all informations gathered from the surveillance. Bare facts. No feelings.  
  
But then, something unexpected happened in the docks...  
  
Data was only passing by on the top side corridor when he noticed that Maro is downstairs repairing some space module. He wasn't aware of him, he was fully concentrated on his job. Data stopped, zoomed in the view and watched silently. It was the first time he had seen him working alone.  
  
Maro's fingers were dancing on the sheathing of the module, the side of it opened and parts visible. Maro was smiling and talking to someone.  
Wrong, no life forms detected. He was talking to himself.  
Wrong again, he was talking to the module itself. He just called it „darling“.  
   
The way he took out the cables looked like a dance. Swiftly but carefully, rubbing each cable all its length, as he was pulling it out. Then taking out every component from inside, one by one, examining it closely, enjoying the sharp corners, but avoiding the sensitive spots. The way he touched them looked like... some kind of love making. Then he put them around himself. On the Bridge he never smiled, yet now he was smiling with the most loving smile.  
  
Data stood there motionlessly, wondering about Maro's behaviour. According to his analysis were all these acts pointless. Why Maro touched the module with such gentleness? It had no sensors, it couldn't even feel it. Why was it loved with his smile and pampering words? It had no intelligence, it couldn't even think about it. Those acts were illogical. Simply meaningless.  
  
His emotions were always like a blank white canvas. He felt nothing. But now, for a tiny microsecond moment, he was almost sure, that he felt a strike of a longing. He would enjoy being in the module's place.  
  


/ 3.04 /

On the Bridge, Maro spent every free second observing Data. He didn't even hide it anymore, he was well aware that Data knows and doesn't mind. Everything about him was interesting and there were many questions to think about.  
  
For example his skin. At first sight it looked like human one, only different shade. But he knew that it will definitely not feel like human. It will be much colder, that's no doubt. And he wondered if rubbing it feels more like plastics or more like leather. How sensitive is it really? The construction under it will be very hard, but the under-skin padding could make the touch much softer.  
  
And then there were questions about how his body looks under that uniform. Probably not very detailed, Data is not a sexdroid. But on the other hand, given how realistic his face was, it would be odd if his creator haven't given him realistic body as well. Maybe he is a sexdroid indeed. No, no, that doesn't seem likely. He doesn't even get it when a woman is flirting with him. He can't be one.  
  
Has he some connector jacks under that uniform? That was the main question. Because it was really weird that Data, although an android, didn't have any visible jacks. He always worked only with his fast hands. Maro haven't seen him even once connected to the computer with a cable, although that would be the fastest connection. Why?  
  
Soon Maro understood the reason, while listening quietly to Data's conversation with one curious ensign.  
„I seek to become more human,“ Data explained. „To achieve this goal, I try to imitate human behaviour. I realized the smallest details matter. I blink to achieve more human facial expression. I run my dreaming program for 20 minutes every three days. And I own a cat pet.“  
  
It was fascinating. Maro has never met an android with such complicated personality. With own wishes and free will. The more he got to know him, the more he regretted his own behaviour on their first encounter. He behaved like a total moron. Prejudiced and arrogant moron. His brief apology in the Engineering three weeks ago was not sufficient.  
  
But the biggest surprise came when Data invited him to a concert. The android was actually playing a violin! Why would a machine be interested in music and arts at all? He didn't need it for his job at all, there was no use for such function... And that was the moment, when Maro realized, that Data is much more than any machine he has ever met. That his programming exceeds everything he has ever known. That a part of him is, really... a human. He couldn't find a better word for it.  
  
Maro came to that concert. He sat quietly in the farthest seat, as a person in back who doesn't want to be noticed. And when it was over, he stood and clapped enthusiastically, with his warmest smile. But before Data could approach him, he left quickly without any word.  
  


/ 3.05 /

He agreed to meet Deanna once a week privately. She was the only one he could talk to openly. And it was only thanks to her that everything was better now.  
  
She welcomed him with a smile. „Maro, today I have only one question for you: When will you finally ask him for a date?“ she started playfully. „There's no way I couldn't notice how you look at him all the time. And how much in love you are. And – how much you want him.“ Watching the two of them working together on the Bridge was like watching a bad soap opera. Others didn't notice, but Deanna saw the emotions clearly. Maro was in love but acted like he didn't care. He ignored every Data's attempt of a deeper conversation. Data was so confused. A soap opera indeed.  
  
Maro just smirked. „Never.“ There was a hint of pain in his answer.  
  
„Why not? I can't read his mind, but I am almost sure he would accept. He is somehow interested in you too, you know. Just today, he approached me and asked me, what do I think about you. Whether you are good or bad person.“  
Maro shook his head. He didn't even know that answer himself. „What did you say?“  
„Well... that you are a complicated one. But under all that layers your core is good and loving.“  
Maro smirked. God, that sounded pathetic. But he didn't disagree.  
„And guess, what Data said? He analysed so, too.“  
„What? Really? How? I don't even talk to him.“ That was a surprise.  
Deanna smiled. „He is watching you. Don't underestimate him.“  
  
Maro just laughed and shook his head. He didn't even notice that Data has been watching him.  
  
But suddenly his smile disappeared. „That doesn't change anything. A romance between human and android can never work. It would... break one or the other, probably both of us.“  
Deanna felt deep painful regrets in his words. „Are you... talking from your own experience?“ she asked. He looked worriedly into the floor and nodded.  
„Maro, Maro...“ she whispered when she felt that deep sorrow in his heart. „You are doing it again, stop it. Just because it didn't work out in the past, it doesn't mean it will not work now. Data is unique, he is like no other of your past partners. Sometimes you must go through bad relationships to learn to have a good one. It's only you who decide how it proceeds.“  
  
He smiled and looked into her dark eyes. „Sincerely? Yes, I am in love with him. But that's only a pink haze to distract me from the pain deep inside me. I am thinking of him only because I don't want to think about Quo again and again. That's what I have always done, after having my heart broken. Find a new crush and try to forget the past. But it's only a plaster that covers deep wound.“  
  
„Then you don't know how to use a plaster. You apply in on the wound, it's no use to look at it only.“ she did a smart remark.  
  
He looked at her in disbelieve. She doesn't mind if he just uses Data?! Was he just a thing that can be used whenever convenient? What about his feelings? Oh yes, he doesn't have any...  
  
She noticed his anger and wanted to apologize, but he stopped her. „I tell you something. When I was dating an android, those were the worst two years of my life. To make him feel anything was incredibly emotionally exhausting. And guess, how it ended? He deleted all memory because he couldn't bear the feelings.“  
  
„Maro, but Data is completely different. Having emotions is what he always wanted the most. You can't compare the two!“  
  
She was right. Maro got absorbed in his thoughts. It was true, they were completely different. Data was much more advanced, much more complicated, much more human-like. His reaction to the whole process might be different. Maybe they really could be happy together. The reward if it worked out would be wonderful.  
But the price if it didn't would be disastrous. Back then, when he started working at XY, he thought that ripping android's skin and wrecking his body parts was the worst torture. No, in reality, it wasn't.  
The simulated emotions were.


	4. Should I love him, should I not, should I hurt him, should I not...

BLACK AND WHITE EMOTIONS  
/ chapter 4 /

**Should I love him, should I not, should I hurt him, should I not...**

„It's useless to date an android. He can never love back, he feels nothing. Getting involved with him would only lead to ugly problems and suffering. It's not worth it. I know this romance has no chance. So why am I dreaming about kissing his cold bioplastical lips every single night?“

/ 4.01 /

Maro was determined to never ever touch Data. He really was. Even Deanna's approval and encouragement didn't change it. Because a romance with a heartless android is futile.

But then suddenly and unexpectedly, it occurred that the two of them were left alone on the Bridge during a mission. The crew went away on a planet, only Data and Maro were left to monitor the situation from the orbit. Data was sitting on his position in the front seat, watching the panel thoroughly. Maro was operating on computers in the back.

Maro should have never even touch him. But what can a small touch do? Only to test how his skin feels. It's a harmless act. Only a short touch lasting few seconds. This is the opportunity.

Data was watching the monitor, yet in the reflection he could see that Maro was approaching him. That was unexpected. After 4 weeks, 3 days, 4 hours and 27 minutes of neglect, maybe he finally wants to talk? Data gulped, like people did while nervous, although he couldn't feel that emotion.

Maro stopped near his seat, silent. Then Data felt just a soft touch on his nape. With a blank expression he analysed the feeling.  
Maro was touching his nape, but nothing more.

Just as Maro thought, the skin was rather cold. Soft but there was something plastic-like in it. He gathered that skin between two fingers. It was thicker layer than human's, but similar elasticity.

With a blank expression, eye-view still set on the monitor, Data was thinking. He has never been touched like this before. Of course it would be easy to dodge it, but he decided to let it continue. What will happen next? He wondered. „Why are you doing this?“ He asked.

Data tilted his head to look at Maro for 3 seconds, but when no explanation was spoken, he turned back to the monitor. If Maro ignores him, he will ignore him too.

Then Maro caressed Data's nape again, subtly with his fingertips only. Can he feel this, too? He doesn't show any further reaction. „I was wondering... why don't you have any visible connector jacks?“ Now he crossed the nape with little more intensity, but not with fingers, but nails. Still no reaction. „I can't believe that android of your type was created without a connector on an accessible place. Come on, you are high commander on a spaceship.“ Now he pressed the whole palm on his nape, massaging strongly with fingers and trying to find any embossment under the skin. Still no reaction, although he must definitely feel this. „You must have here a cover hiding that connector. I can't believe you don't.“

For a short moment, there was silence. Data was processing the inputs from his skin sensors again. Such extraordinary inputs. What should he allow and what not? Was this dangerous? No, it was not yet. And he was curious where this will lead.  
„Positive, I have one. But not on my nape,“ said Data without missing a beat.

Maro smirked. If not on the nape... „...it's in your hair, then,“ he guessed and run gently his fingers into the silky dark hair. Then he grabbed his hair and tugged his head back with a fierce jerk. „Ah,“ Data groaned. That input was too strong. But what would hurt a human, cannot harm an android. Now the yellow eyes were staring directly into Maro's. „Show me,“ he dared him.

But before they could do anything, the monitor reported changes and the team started to communicate, destroying this moment. Maro freed Data's hair and returned to his place without a word. Data checked the monitor, then looked back at Maro with a confused expression, then back to the monitor. Meanwhile, he smoothed his hair with one hand.

  
/ 4.02 /

Maro was walking down the hall – his shift has ended.  
What a distressing shift. He was so sorry about his actions. This got so out of control, he should have stopped after the first touch. Where has all his self-control gone? God, he wanted to fuck Data so badly, to see emotions of pleasure on that golden poker face, but that should be left just and only in his fantasy! He cannot do anything to him in reality! There are many very good reasons why not. Damn, he needs an icy cold shower and remember all those reasons one by one. And tell them to himself aloud at least ten times in a round.

He turned right to the lifts, now he only needs to get to the Deck 8 and he will be finally ho-  
He froze in surprise.  
There was an android waiting for him.  
„I can show you what you wanted,“ he said with no expression.

Data was thinking it over for a whole long 0.47 second. Maro was analysed as a possibly dangerous person to him, considering his previous job. Data was aware of his permanent watch and it was probable that Maro is planning something. On the other hand, yet he was analysed as a good person. There was a lot of evidence to validate this reasoning: for example, he risked everything including his life to save 30 people on QED Sigma. Strangers. His morals cannot be bad.

Today was an interesting turn of events. After 102 unsuccessful attempts of a conversation, Maro finally gave him an excuse for a private meeting and dialogue. Counsellor Troi said that Maro went through painful trauma and that he needs company. Although Data didn't really understand what a trauma is, he can be satisfactory companion and friend.  
Only one point was not quite alright. According to their first talk, showing him his connector may be considered as a „naughty suggestion“. But he will take the risk.

Maro was staring at him with surprise at first, but it soon changed into a smile. „Ok, you got me. Let's go somewhere private.“  
His whole reasoning was swept away. The cold shower can wait after this. Data's secret connector was something he was thinking about all the time. It's one of the most vulnerable parts on android's body. He just can't pass the opportunity to see something so erotic. All he has to do is hold back and watch only. And he really will hold back this time! He must.

His hand slowly caressed the communication panel on the wall. „Computer, could you please guide us to a quiet and lonesome conference room? One with big view of the universe, where no one will interfere.“ His touch to the panel was so soft and loving, but his gaze directly to Data's eyes was sharp and challenging.

  
/ 4.03 /

They ended in an empty conference room. Not a soul around. „Computer, turn on the lights,“ said Data and continued with his speech about interesting discoveries on planet Rios. He couldn't feel the soft romantic atmosphere at all.

„Data, the story can wait for later. Hush now, be quiet, and listen only,“ Maro said sweetly, then turned to the panel on the wall: „Computer, dear, turn the light down, to the second lowest level.“ The light dimmed.

Can Maro see well what he wanted with the light so low? Data opened his mouth to say his concerns, but closed it again without a word. He was asked to be quiet. He looked at Maro with a confused expression only.

„Don't worry, this is perfect,“ Maro smiled and sat on top of a table, facing the giant window. „Come here,“ he pointed to the space before him.

The android went to that place as said. The stars of the whole universe were shining outside, yet Maro couldn't take his gaze from the vivid yellow eyes. The whole universe couldn't match that cold beauty.

Data stopped in front of Maro, few steps away.  
He turned his back to him.  
He pressed the back of his head with a fast hand movement. Only about 5 x 5 cm square of his hair went up and showed the silver metal under it, flashing with little lights embedded inside. A connector was among them.  
He slightly turned left to see Maro's expression in the side view.

Maro was staring at him without moving, and the only change Data could sense was the quickening heartbeat of the human.

Data didn't move either. He was standing there like a sculpture. Not moving, not even blinking. His robotic eyes looked lifeless, yet Maro was well aware that they are watching him closely. The universe shone in the background, the dimmed light made Data's pale skin stand out appreciably, but those little lights in his head were the most radiant of this scene. They blinked vividly, illuminating the connector among them. It looked more erotic than Maro could ever imagine.

Maro looked at the android for whole 14 minutes and 49 seconds. Just enjoying this endless moment, the perfect view. Never in his life he has seen someone so erotic yet so innocent, someone so beautiful yet so unnoticed by others, someone so caring yet claiming he can't feel. His whole fast-beating heart was overflowing with the intensity of this moment and yet its feelings could fit into one short sentence:

Data, I love you.

He couldn't tell him that. Data would not understand. And it was less painful never say those words, than destroy their essence in an incomprehension.

„Lately, I was wondering so much about you,“ Maro broke softly the long silence. „like... what part of your skin is the most sensitive. I think... it's your hands. Because you can tell the intensity of your touch very well... you can do a strong grip, yet you operate the panel screens so softly. You must have very sensitive hands to tell such big difference. There's no need for any of your body part to be so sensitive.“

„Positive. I have about 110 000 sensors in my hand. That makes them the most sensitive part of my body,“ replied Data and turned face to face to Maro.

Maro smiled softly and opened his hands towards Data. „Would you give me your hand, please?“

Data put on the surprised expression, then the hesitant expression. In the end he reached out his hand towards Maro. They touched. Maro's hand was so warm and soft, Data could sense it well. Unlike it, Data's hand was cold, and its skin felt a bit like soft plastic. Maro loved that feeling. With his left hand, he caught Data's wrist, so his palm was facing up. With the fingertips of his right hand he started touch the palm gently. The palm first, then enjoying finger by finger. In the end his thumb caressed the wrist. There were pulsing veins under the bioplastic skin. He gripped the wrist strongly to feel that pulse more. Fascinating.

Another cold hand reached out to him, to loosen the grip. He did it immediately, but before he could put his hands away completely, the golden hand caught his. The same way he was holding Data's hand earlier, Data was holding his hand now. Touching the palm with his fingertips. Maro shivered and closed his eyes.

He let him continue only for few seconds. He couldn't bear this any longer.  
He stood up quickly, eyes burning with passion. He reached out to grab Data's waist, pressing body to body. He gripped his head from behind to direct him into a passionate kiss.

But that kiss never happened.  
He stopped a breath away Data's lips.  
It lasted 4.23 seconds. That long could Data feel the warm human breath near his lips, the fast human heart-beat on his chest (exactly 131 beats per minute) and the hard erection pressed to his thigh.

It's futile. See, the android doesn't care at all.

  
/ 4.04 /

He left Data standing alone in that conference room and avoided him ever since. Why did he felt so disappointed? From the very beginning he knew this will happen. He was a fool when he had a tiny hope for a romance with him. Of course he feels nothing. Of course this absolutely cannot continue, or it will end with tragedy. He cannot make him feel. Never. He knows how to do it, but he would never forgive himself for doing so.

Soon Data realized that Maro is avoiding him. He didn't even look at him anymore. That was unfortunate, his mental pathways become accustomed to Maro's instant watch. At least the meeting yesterday revealed Maro's true intentions: a romantic interest. And as usual when it came to love affairs, Data did everything wrong. He must make it clear as soon as possible.

Calculations and timing were his strong points. It was easy to plan a long ride in turbolift from the Bridge to the Engineering exactly when Maro needed to go there. That left them both in the lift alone. Maro was looking silently at the door, ignoring Data completely.

„Maro, may I ask you for a help in a personal matter?“

Long silence, no response. Data waited, although it was a total neglect, it wasn't a no.

Data opened his mouth, closed it again. If he had emotions, he would surely be nervous now. And although he felt nothing, he just faked the reactions to be a little bit closer to those feelings.

„I found out that you worked with sexdroids before.“

That words made Maro twitch and he turned swiftly face to face to Data, staring directly into his yellow eyes now. He was frowning. „So what?“ he said sharply.

Data gulped, to fake emotions again. „I want to ask you for an advice or assistance regarding my sexual program. It does not function if not turned on forcibly. So far I tried to stimulate it with 10394 erotic pictures of different nature, with no result.“

Maro chuckled. To stimulate sexual program with erotic pictures? That was so naively cute. Of course that couldn't work. „Did you ever even had sex? With a real living being, not a simulation?“ Data nodded. „Yes, but only once.“ „Once is not enough. Find a good sex partner who doesn't care only about own satisfaction. Your sexual program will be activated if you let someone else to stimulate you well.“ He tried to make the answer sound as cold as possible.  
He broke the eye contact, finally they are almost there and this awkward talk will be over.

Almost there.

If Data hadn't said that last sentence.

„Maro, can you assist me in this matter as my sex partner? I noticed you are... interested.“

„Stop.“ And the turbolift stopped.

Maro turned again, to look into Data's eyes. That yellow eyes were watching him, waiting patiently for the response. It didn't matter, whether the answer will be yes or no, that eyes will be forever blank, with no emotion. But Maro's eyes, Maro's eyes were full of anger, lust and despair. He had to bite his lip and hands curled into fists. Sex partners. That's the most they can ever be. And he knew exactly where this will lead...

Sex partners. Maybe he could demonstrate what being his sex partner means. All he has to do is to kiss Data passionately, shove him into the corner of this damned lift, tell him to think about him only, ravish his lips, lick and bite his neck, then touch his whole body up and down... pin him to the wall and give him the best blow-job ever. So he could taste how sweet it feels to be stimulated. His emotions will catch nothing, but at least his body would: the bliss of being loved.

And then, when this all would be over, Data would stand panting in the corner, hair ruffled, uniform dishevelled, pants to knees, body still numb with the after-effects of orgasm.

That would be the moment.

The moment to open the lift and walk out of it with a smirk. For the whole Engineering to see the Lieutenant Commander in such state. Even a heartless android would have felt the sharp deep simulated emotion of treason and humiliation. Painful enough to never approach Maro again.

After this, they would definitely kick Maro out the Enterprise and maybe out the Starfleet as well. Which is what they should have done a long time ago. All problems solved.

You ask why?

Because ending this love affair here and now in this cruel way would be still much more merciful than let it continue. The treason and humiliation would be nothing against how much would Data suffer as Maro's lover. Suffer over and over again.

That was his plan. But guess, what really happened?

Maro did a step closer.  
Data still stared at him, awaiting the response.  
Maro stretched his hand to shove Data to the corner.  
But he stopped in the middle, before he even touched him.  
He couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt him. Data was too precious.  
Instead his hand landed slowly on Data's shoulder.

„I am sorry, I can't. I... can't. I can't be your sex partner,“ he said instead, looking into the yellow eyes. Their icy coldness froze through his heart. „I can't have sex without relationship. I can't have relationship without love. I am sorry.“

„I understand you. I cannot feel love, therefore I cannot be your partner.“ confirmed those cold lips.

  
/ 4.05 /

Today, he was rather pissed at Data. Maro tried hard to avoid him everywhere, this whole affair was getting pretty much out of his control – hell, he almost raped him three days ago in that turbolift! But can you imagine what the android did now?! He changed shifts to work with Maro alone in a remote warehouse to repair some transporter. And Maro couldn't decline, Data was his superior. He planned the repairs so suddenly that Maro couldn't even find an excuse not to go. It was definitely an intention!

As they were working together on the disassembled transporter, Data had many questions towards Maro, trying to get him into the conversation. It was so annoying!

„Why did you decide to rescue QED Sigma, although it was negligible chance of survival?“  
„'Cause I am a Starfleet officer. It's my job.“  
„But they would understand if you ran away. It was a suicidal mission.“  
„I had my orders. Do I have to repeat myself? It's my job.“

…

„Why don't you spend more time with your co-workers? You are always alone.“  
„'Cause I am an introvert. Find it in the dictionary, if you don't know what it means.“

…

„Tell me something about the job at your previous spaceship.“  
There was silence. Maro didn't reply at all.

…

„Do you play any musical instrument?“  
Still no reply.

…

„Tell me about those sexdroids. Did you use their service as well?“  
Maro stopped his work and looked directly at Data. Unbelievable, how obtrusive that thing was.  
„Never. I was a repairman, not a customer,“ he replied sharply and it was a lie.  
„According to my analysis I am 98.82 % sure you are lying now.“  
„Ha! You know me perfectly well! So what do you wanna hear?! How I repaired damaged androids only to find their wrecked parts in the scrap waste two weeks later? How I had a threesome to test their new functions? Or how I fucked an android torso to make him feel simulated emotions?!“  
Data stopped his work, only to look at Maro with a perplexed gaze.  
„Removal of body parts cannot have influence on emotions. I would have felt nothing even without arms and legs. Although, I must admit, the thought is unappealing.“  
„If I disarmed you right now and here, of course you would feel nothing. But in other circumstances, if you were fucked slowly, kissed and massaged on your back, fully aware of your body position, you would understand. The feeling of being hopelessly defenceless in arms of your lover. Fully in mercy of a person who can destroy you in a moment, but no, he makes gentle love to you instead. You would understand then how submission feels.“  
Data gave him a dubious look. He found that picture more disturbing than appealing.  
„No, I am not interested in such experience,“ he said, but he was thinking about it still.

„Then good for you,“ muttered Maro and yanked the repair tool into the box. „It's almost done, you can finish it without me,“ he hissed and went directly to the turbolifts.

Was Data offended by that image? Only the better. That's how simulated emotions worked. Negative and positive emotions, combined together. The stronger negative was, the stronger positive felt. Or vice versa. First as initiator, second as consequence. But it wasn't a fair game. No matter the combination, it always ended with hurt.


	5. The moment I realized my heart is missing

BLACK AND WHITE EMOTIONS  
/ chapter 5 /  
  
**The moment I realized my heart is missing**  
  
„I never understood what a love is. After studying 10 384 pieces of human literature on this subject, it seemed more illogical than obvious. I came to the conclusion that I am not able to comprehend it without emotions. But my circuits are not capable of emotions at all. Therefore, I marked love as a matter worthless to concern about. So far I never missed it.“  
  
/ 5.01 /

Maro was sitting in the dark corner of Ten Forward, drinking alone, head in hands. He felt desperate, trapped in vicious circle. The more he tried to solve everything, the more complicated it got instead.  
  
He was in love with Data. Data was willing to try some kind of relationship with him as well. This should be a good start, right? They can give it a try, it might work even without deep feelings, it might make them both happy just being together. Wasn't he happy just watching Data? Hell, he was so much. Wasn't he happy just holding his hand? Dear God, he could live through rest of his life only because of the precious memory of that night. It was enough, he didn't have to hurt Data. He didn't have to make him feel.  
  
But he couldn't forget that last message he received from Quo. The one which said to start a new life. A new life with a loving human lover, who awaits him somewhere hidden in the stars. A human, probably a cyborg, because only machines could make him excited. But still a cyborg with a warm human heart. Not a cold android.  
  
Quo repeated him probably billion times how dating any kind of machine is totally stupid. And that there is zero possibility that a romance with heartless android ends well. 'Crying again, Maro?' He heard remembrance of Quo's voice. 'Don't you think it's meaningless? That android doesn't even miss you. In reality, he is better without you. Forget him finally.'  
Was Data the same? Would he ever missed him? Would he be better without him?  
  
Damn you, Quo! If you didn't abandon me, I would never even think about anyone else. I would never fall in love with anyone else. I would live happily in our nonsensical love-hate relationship forever. Arguing about those damn boxes of Alwieorlit-blahblah-shit that we had to carry through the whole quadrant. Finding any opportunity to irritate your perfect highness, 'cause you were damn hot when angry... that cynical program of yours was truly brilliant.  
Playing 449 rounds of chess against you, only to win once. To win to see your smile.  
Damn... that hurt.  
  
He needed another drink. Of real booze. The synthehol was not strong enough.  
  
This time no strict voice of Quo will lecture him about the dangers of alcohol. So he ordered two whole bottles outright, only in defiance of Quo, who would get definitely mad at him because of it. The plan was to take it to his quarters and get awfully drunk.  
  
Quo, that fucking damned idiotic spaceship!  
He is not obliged to listen to its commands anymore!  
Although Quo was always, every single time, right.  
  


/ 5.02 /

Every three days, Data ran his dreaming program.  
  
Alone in his quarters, he lay on his empty and perfectly made bed, still dressed in his uniform. He relaxed his body, stopped thinking about everything and closed his eyes.  
He started the dreaming subroutine.  
  
He felt a soft touch on his face. Fingers that gently caressed his lips.  
Pitch black darkness. Not because the lights were shut off. But because his vision was disabled.  
He realized the back of his head was completely opened.  
He couldn't move. Something was holding his body to table.  
He tried to disengage with all his power, with no result.  
  
„Hush... calm down, I won't hurt you,“ he heard a whispering voice. He recognized that voice. It was Maro.  
He felt fingertips dancing on his face, going up into his head. Dancing gently in the same way they danced on sheathing of that module earlier. Was he playing with his head components the same way like he did with the module insides? He didn't have sensitive skin in that uncovered area, he couldn't tell.  
  
His vision turned on. Maro's hand caressed his cheek, down the way out of his head.  
He was looking directly into Data's eyes now, loving smile on his lips. His whole eyes were unnaturally black, like two dark black holes.  
„Sorry. Can you see now?“  
„Yes,“ Data answered positively, looking around to analyse the realm of this dream.  
They were alone in the android repairs rooms. He was bound to the table completely naked. His body was tied on arms, legs, waist and neck to the table's surface by iron cuffs.  
„What are you doing with me? Please release me.“ Data asked with calm voice.  
  
Maro's fingertips lightly caressed his face again, dancing down to his neck, then to his chest.  
„I have your emotion chip. We are here to install it. Sorry, the binding is a precaution. But don't worry, I'll make sure everything goes well,“ he assured Data with a tender smile.  
  
„But I have a problem,“ continued Maro. „I don't know where to install it.“ Now his hands started to massage Data's bioplastical body, trying to find any embossment under the skin. He massaged him on trapped hands first, from upper arm down to his palm.  
„I thought the connector is in your head, but I didn't find it.“  
Then the hands moved on his chest, examining the collar bone, touching his nipples, massaging the place of Data's heart.  
„Oh. I think I found it. It's here. But it's secured, I can't open it. Only you can do it.“  
  
For the first moment, Data was confused. This was not the place where his emotion chip supposed to be. But in a dream, anything is possible, right?  
„Can I see the chip? Where is it?“  
The emotion chip that Dr. Soong made especially for him, when he realized Data is incomplete. But he had never even tried it. His evil brother Lore stole it. Who knows, where he is now and if the chip is still usable.  
Data didn't know how does it feel to have the chip. How many emotions it can really give him. But it might be everything he ever wanted – to feel like human.  
  
Maro smiled at him gently, watching him with those pitch black eyes. Then his hand reached into his dreadlocks, and took out a little pitch black chip. „Here.“  
It wasn't his emotion chip. Data zoomed in to inspect it, tried to find it in his database.  
No, it wasn't an emotion chip at all. It was analysed as a dangerous virus that could cause a fatal cascade failure to an android.  
„That is not an emotion chip.“  
„You are mistaken. It is. It can give you every emotion you have ever heard of. Joy. Hate. Passion. Fear. Euphoria. Anger. Love. Despair. And even more. But if you hesitate, we don't need to hurry. I will wait for you, we can install it when you are ready,“ said Maro with a sweet smile. As he was absolutely sure it was the right chip.  
  
Then he leaned down, like he wanted to kiss Data, but stopped breath away his lips. The deep darkness of his black eyes so close was consuming. „Data, believe me,“ he whispered and Data could sense his breath on his lips. „I know everything about androids. I know even more about your own body than yourself.“ „False argument, that is not possib- Oh. Ah!“  
Data's body trembled twice, as his sexual subroutine suddenly turned on.  
  
He felt slight thrill in skin sensors of his whole body. They needed to be touched. The breath near his lips was now the only stimulation, and although it was subtle, it felt wonderful. He leaned forward to kiss the human lips, as his sexual program instructed. Their lips almost touched, Maro backed away, Data wanted to reach him, but the cuff on his neck stopped him. He tried with all his power to break it, the excited skin sensors on neck going crazy with such strong stimulation, but he didn't manage.  
  
Maro had a victorious smile on his lips, looking directly into Data's eyes with his sinister dark ones. Data never realized it before, but that intensive stare felt like a strong stimulation itself. Data gulped, to fake the nervous emotion again. He felt his whole body sensors trembling slightly in urge, and within that trembling the nervous emotion felt somehow real.  
  
Maro didn't say a word, only his fingertips slightly caressed Data's chest.  
The android's body leaned forward to that touch.  
  


/ 5.03 /

Data woke up into the quiet darkened room.  
His body was warmer than standard by 1.32 °C, heart beating faster to speed up the flow of cooling fluids in his veins. The skin touch sensors of whole body were excited, still longing for any stimulation. He had an erection.  
  
This whole situation was surprising and unexpected.  
Firstly, he had never an erotic dream before. Until now, he was even 99.8% sure it's impossible for him to have this kind of dream.  
Secondly, his sexual program was running. In the past, he had it turned on forcibly few times, but it was always by his own will. It never auto-ran before.  
Thirdly and most surprisingly, his whole body was actually aroused. He was trembling and excited. This never happened before, not even with the sexual subroutine on. It should only emulate the behaviour for sexual practices, harden his penis to be ready for intercourse. Nothing more. The actual excitement has never been a part of it.  
  
What now? He should explore this new experience. But he doesn't have a partner. Well, there was one other option. He gulped and moved his hand slowly down into his pants.  
  
The program instructed to stroke the penis in a steady movement. At least with male humans it worked. „Oh...“ groaned Data after the first touch. It was pleasant stimulation, that part of his body was strongly sensitive. But he needed more. His hand moved faster and faster, but it wasn't still enough. Something important was missing in this act.  
  
He remembered some random erotic pictures. Absolutely no effect registered.  
No, Maro said that pictures cannot work. Why that dream worked?  
Ah. It was simple.  
The dream simulated real touches, the sensations he once experienced.  
  
When Maro was touching his nape on the Bridge. Gently with fingertips. Slowly with nails. He can recall that feeling on his nape, as real as it was the first time. „Ah.“ And once more. Again.  
On infinite loop.  
When Maro was touching his hand in the conference room. Caressing his most sensitive fingers. Massaging his veins on wrist. He remembers it clearly.  
„Oh...“ What a pleasure for his excited skin sensors.  
They never kissed, but Data knew how it is to feel his breath on lips. Gentle and elusive, like the whole moment before kissing.  
He will have to kiss Maro soon, in order to gather that information into his database. It's missing there essentially.  
  
'Do you like it? The feeling of being hopelessly defenceless in arms of your lover,' he heard Maro's voice in his head, calling him out from the dream subroutine.  
He was again in his dream, lying trapped on the table, feeling Maro's touches all over his body.  
But every time he would like to touch him back, he couldn't.  
The submission. The more stimulated his sensors were, the more he understood it. His whole body longed for Maro, his whole body belonged to him. He was in mercy of his lover, who made gentle love to him, although he could destroy him in any moment. He felt Maro's fingers in his hair. The strong grip on wrist. The rough massage of nape. The fast stroking of his penis.  
  
A strong grab of his hair and his head tugged back with a fierce jerk.  
Too strong stimulation, that brought his body over the edge, leaving him trembling violently in orgasm. During the god long 4.45 seconds, in all his body, from toe fingers to ends of his hair, he felt a strong emotion of complete submissiveness to Maro.  
  


/ 5.04 /

He was lying on his bed, breathing heavily, heart beating fast. His positronic net was overwhelmed with the after-effects of orgasm. For few seconds, he felt like lost in space and time. He stared blankly into space, speechless. Even all his thoughts were blank.  
When he calmed down a bit, he noticed that he dirtied his uniform with the white liquid. The top was soaked in many places. He didn't expect to be so much out of control of his own body.  
  
It was such delightful experience. No wonder people did that frequently.  
The overstrain of orgasm felt wonderful. And the emotion he could feel during it!  
Now everything was gone. He remembered it, but couldn't feel it again.  
Now he felt nothing at all.  
  
He undressed and headed into the sonic shower, all his body functions back to standard parameters.  
As he was standing naked in the shower, he analysed that act.  
Why was he thinking about Maro? Why not Geordi? Or the Captain?  
The result of the analysis was shocking:  
It stated he was in love with Maro.  
  
He couldn't believe it himself. That was not possible! He was an android, he was not capable of love.  
But the symptoms of love were against him.  
  
Those were facts:  
He was watching Maro continuously every time they were in the same room.  
He found their eye-contact unusual and more intense than with other people.  
He let Maro touch him and curiously waited for more.  
He even directly asked Maro for a sexual intercourse.  
He changed his shifts in order to work together with Maro.  
He masturbated thinking about Maro.  
He had a task in his future actions register, to kiss Maro. A task with high priority.  
  
Undeniable evidence that he was in love.  
  
And yet, he felt nothing. According to the Book of Love, chapter 1, 3rd paragraph: „To be in love is the most beautiful feeling one can ever experience. You feel like your chest is filled with fluttery  happiness. You feel like your heart is burning every time you meet your lover. The feelings of happiness, gratitude and affection are intensive to overwhelming level.“  
Yet he felt nothing like that. Not even an inkling. Nothing at all.  
  
He learned from the human literature that love was the strongest and most wonderful emotion that one can ever experience. It supposed to be something so intensive and mind-blowing, that people would travel through the whole universe to have it, it motivated them to manage even impossible tasks, for love they would betray their family, they would even kill.  
According to his analysis, Data was in love. And all it meant to him was a short message of four words. Nothing more. Only one short message among 3 294 304 analysis messages he received  every day.  
  
That was the moment, when he realized how empty he is.  
  
No matter how hard he tries, he can never be like human. A significant part of him is missing, without emotions is his existence incomplete.  
He is a defective being.  
  
Something is missing while he plays his violin. Many people told him it's perfect but soulless.  
Something is missing when he tries to laugh with his friends. It sounds fake, because it is fake.  
Something is missing every time he dates. They soon break up with him, saying it rather never happened.  
  
He stood still, naked in the sonic shower, eye-view set into the wall, not even blinking. Why bother anymore? It's futile, he can never be like human.  
  
If he could feel, he would feel deep emptiness. Probably the only feeling he is somehow capable of.  
  


/ 5.05 /

Maro was lying on the sofa, devastated. What a dreadful night! Both bottles empty on the table, whole  room a disastrous mess, his head hurting like hell, his stomach like on water. It must be noon by now. Only luck he was foresightful to take a day free.  
  
God, he felt like shit. Somehow he managed to falter to the replicator and order some hypospray with pain killers. He took a strong dose and fell over on the sofa again.  
  
What a dreadful night. Four hours of thinking about Quo, crying of loneliness, lost in self-pity. That's how those bottles got empty. Then about two hours of sleep filled with nightmares. Next two hours spent in consideration his own life, thinking about Data, thinking about future. The future? No, there was no bright future for them. Nor for him alone.  
In the end, he cowardly gave up everything and took some sleeping pills. He slept until now.  
  
The painkillers started to have effect, his whole body felt slack like a piece of cloth. He stared blankly into ceiling. It felt like bright morning after long night storm. So calm and nothing mattered anymore. 'Cause everything was over. Last night he decided. He will leave the Enterprise and start over again.  
  
He was just enjoying the blank calmness of this moment, looking up to the ceiling. It was so freeing to think about absolute nothing. He could lie there for 5 minutes or hours, even the time didn't matter at all.  
Suddenly, he heard a beep. Someone is here to visit him? Unbelievable. It must be Deanna. She probably felt his dreadful misery all the night with her betazoid senses.  
  
He would love to see her now. Talking to her always helped him a good deal. Who cares this room looks like after an earthquake disaster? Well, he definitely doesn't.  
„Enter...“ he said and finally sat up on the sofa, trying to arrange his messy clothes a bit.  
His heart almost stopped when he realized that Data is standing in the door. With a flower.  
  
„Good afternoon, Maro,“ said Data with a fake smile „I hope you do not mind my intrusion.“  
Maro was speechless. Utterly speechless. Did he mind it or not?  
„Um... no... come in...“ he babbled and tried to put his messy bed hair in one place. Good thing that dreadlocks were so easy to shape.  
  
Data went directly to the point. After he skilfully wove his was through the mounds of mess on the floor, he approached Maro and gave him the potted plant. Maro took it over, feeling completely baffled.  
„I came here to propose a romantic relationship to you. Do you agree to my proposal?“  
Maro looked at the flower with shocked wide-eyed expression, then at Data. God, his smile was so fake. Stunned, he put the plant slowly down on the table, next to the empty bottles. What a bizarre picture.  
  
What the hell is this comedy all about? He shifted his gaze directly into those yellow eyes. „Why do you want to date me?“ It was because of the sexual program, right?  
  
Data opened his mouth, closed it again. Maro waited silently, not breaking the eye contact. Data put on the shy expression and held it for whole five seconds. Maro felt the panic rising in him. What kind of shit will the android say when he is making so much fuss?!  
  
„Because I love you.“  
  
That went directly into Maro's heart. He had to take a deep breath. It sounded even faker than Data's smile. What the fuck. This can't be real. He probably has a hallucination now because he combined too much alcohol, sleeping pills and pain killers together. This can't be happening.  
  
Maro sighed deeply. He put his face into hands, making the android wait for the answer. God, he so wasn't ready to have this conversation during a hangover.  
Let's consider this is real. Try to think logically, Maro. He can't love you. He can't feel any emotion, that is a fact. Maybe he somehow mistook an interest as love. Or he is deliberately lying. There must be a trick to refute his statement. Few seconds of silence, then he looked up to Data's eyes again.  
  
„I have only one more question,“ Maro said slowly, eyes fixed on Data's. „If I left the Enterprise, would you miss me?“ The question he wondered all the night.  
  
„Yes, of course I would. As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs eventually are anticipated, and even missed when absent.“  
  
Dear God. He was mistaken. Data would really miss him.  
But that wasn't a proof of love. That was only a proof that Data is advanced android with a complicated system. He must try another trick. Ah. That one with a kiss. No android would kiss a human against their will. Androids were made to serve people, programmed to never act against their will. Something absolutely unimportant, like a kiss was, cannot make them suppress their basic programming.  
  
„Ok... we can give it a try,“ said Maro hesitantly, not breaking the eye-contact.  
  
Data's plastic smile appeared again, he sat on the couch next to him, put a hand around Maro's shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him gently. Maro's heart almost stopped in that moment. He had to collect every shatter of his will to turn away his head in the last moment, to dodge the kiss.  
  
Suddenly, a strong cold hand grabbed his chin, carefully but firmly, bringing their lips closer, holding him so strong that he couldn't deny. The kiss was short, cold as ice and Maro felt that coldness going down to his spine. The kiss ended soon, but he still felt the wonderful taste of bioplast lingering on his lips. He was astonished. Speechless.  
Dear God, Data really loved him.  
  
Data put his hands away from Maro and his smile disappeared. „I am sorry my initial request was not outright,“ he said „I do not wish you to force yourself. I am not interested in one sided relationship.“ It was a clear statement, cold as you would expect from an android. Then he stood up and wanted to leave.  
  
„Hold on!“ Maro panicked and reached for that golden hand. „I...“ What shall he say not to spoil everything? He felt his heart racing, his stomach clenched and he absolutely couldn't think clearly. In his confusion, he said the first thing that came to his mind: “Hell, all my life I dreamed about that. An android who confess love to me and then, against my will, fuc- ehm- kisses me.“ God, that was one awful slip of the tongue. Data gave him dubious look. „I mean... it's the proof you really love me,“ clarified Maro.  
  
„Understood. In that case I would like to continue in our liaison,“ said Data and his theatrical smile reappeared. „Is there anything I can do for you, dear? Do you want a dinner? I can clean your room as well,“ suggested Data. And Maro just had to chuckle, that dating program which was running right now in Data's head was so awful it was funny. But who cares?  
  
„Thanks, but no. Just sit down and let me use your lap as a pillow. 'Cause I got awfully drunk yesterday and I still feel like shit. All I need is someone close.“ Data sat down. „A question. Why are you drinking alcohol when it makes you feel bad? As your partner I must state my concerns. This obviously does not benefit you nor your living area.“  
No matter how bad he felt right now, he had to laugh from bottom of his heart. God, his missed this so much. A machine that scolds him for his irrational human mistakes. God, he loved that!  
  
Poor Data didn't have a clue what was so funny. Not at all.


	6. The fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post the last chapter. It was a big challenge to write it, because of the complicated feelings they both face in this part. In the beginning of their lovemaking Data has to experience many negative emotions, and it can be harsh to read. But not a single act is unnecessary – those experiences will lead him into deep understanding of denuded intimacy and purest forms of love, in the end of their night. (I even put a warning for the worst part, you can skip it if you feel it's too much...)

BLACK AND WHITE EMOTIONS  
/ chapter 6 /  
  
**The fall**  
  
„It was like standing together on the edge of giant deep abyss. Once we make the last step, there will be no return. To fall in love, passionately, bodies tangled together, lustfully, bleeding feelings out of our hearts, joining into one. It's like the whole universe stopped exist during our blissful fall. Kissing and touching, we pretend we never reach the very bottom of this abyss, which might shatter our bodies and souls into pieces.“  
  
/ 6.01 /

Maro was lying on the sofa, eyes closed, head leaned on Data's lap, enjoying the soft strokes of those cool bioplastical hands. It felt like heaven. Peaceful heaven. Past didn't matter anymore. Future didn't matter anymore. It was only the silent peaceful now.  
  
Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew this affair was extremely bad idea.  
But why did it even matter? He was so happy right now. This was all he ever wanted in his life: Cool robotic hands touching him tenderly. Nothing else mattered. Why always live in self-denial and pain? Didn't he deserve a little bit of happiness?  
  
„Maro, can you construct an emotion chip?“ One question breaking this peaceful silence.  
Maro opened his eyes, looking up to Data's. „No, I have never even heard about an emotion chip,“ he replied sincerely. Heh, if he had it, his whole life wouldn't be such miserable mess.  
  
Data's cool hands didn't stop stroking gently his hair and neck. Automatically with program generated motion. „You were talking about simulated emotions. How does it work?“  
  
Those words were like icy knifes into Maro's heart. He knew he will have to talk about that Pandora's box one day, but he didn't expect the forbidden topic to arise so quickly. Oh well, the soon it's over, the better. Good thing the pain killers made him so apathetic.  
  
„Well... The opinion that androids have no emotions is wrong in general. They are living beings like everyone else, of course they have emotions,“ started Maro his speech and Data was attentively listening „The problem is, their style of thinking is different than biological creatures have. They think over-much fast, they think over-much factually, and emotions are too ethereal to notice. The key is to maximize the emotion experience. It must be extreme.“ Maro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't have the courage to say the next sentence directly into Data's eyes.  
„Extreme to the point it burns your soul and body.“  
  
With closed eyes, Maro hoped this conversation will fade away in silence. The strokes of Data's cool hands didn't stop, and that was all what mattered in the world. Although it was only a simulated motion with no feeling at all.  
  
„You mean it causes the positronic net overload and possible burnout of inner components,“ repeated Data the part he understood. „How critical is the damage?“  
Eyes going wide, Maro looked at Data  in disbelieve. Did he really consider it although he knew the consequences?!  
„Depends. Between 5 to 20 percent. But... you know... one never knows what may break.“  
„That is acceptable. I am able to function properly even with 42.34% of micro components burnout,“ stated the android.  
Maro was shocked. He really did consider it?! „But I don't want to hurt you at all!“  
  
The hands stopped, to emphasise the deep meaning of words Data wanted to tell.  
  
„I don't mind. I would do anything to feel. If only once in my life, I want to feel love,“ said Data and Maro's heart clenched. „I said I love you, yet all it means to me is a short analysis message. I wish I could feel it, only once is enough, even for a few milliseconds is enough. Only once in my life... please.“  
  
The robotic hands started the program generated motion again, playing with Maro's dreadlocks. And for a moment, Maro wondered, how much it would be different, if they caressed sincerely with feelings.  
  
So love he wants to feel. Love, the strongest and worst emotion of them all. „Love is a complicated one. It isn't a single emotion, but complex of many. It varies from the lustful possessive passion to gentle nuances of the simplest form of happiness. It isn't possible to simulate it in a short process... it might be too much for you.“  
„I would like to experience all of it, otherwise it is incomplete. Please.“  
  
Unbelievable. The android was really unbelievable. Doesn't he get it how dangerous it is?! „But. It isn't that simple! It isn't like pressing a button! A person who never lived through suffering cannot really appreciate any positive feelings. To enjoy love and happiness, you need to feel humiliation and despair first. Do you really want that?!“  
„Yes, I do,“ said Data without missing a beat. „I would be grateful for such extensive experience. I registered that human life is not exclusively about the positive feelings. Negative feelings provide deeper dimension to the life.“  
„You are unbelievable,“ said Maro in astonishment. It was shocking how easily Data agreed to everything he was afraid of.  
  
And then, one more time, Data acknowledged his decision: „I am very determined to have that experience with you. Even if it went wrong and negative emotions were all I felt, I still would be grateful to you.“ Deep meanings were hidden in his statement. The emptiness of android's heart, the longing for life in its purest form.  
  


/ 6.02 /

Data stood motionlessly in the bedroom, waiting for Maro. The noise of the sonic shower could be heard from bathroom. The bedroom, in comparison to the living room, was clean and almost unused. Only one giant bed in the middle and that was all. As he stood there like a sculpture, Data was thinking about many topics – new mission they were assigned to, best nutrition for his cat, comparing meanings of love in differnt cultures, analysing poker strategies of commander Riker, testing newest physics theories in mathematical equations. But he was feeling nothing. He felt nothing during his love confession, nothing during the dialogue and cuddling, and nothing now.  
  
Was it even possible to make him feel anything? All his life he lived without emotions, lived with the assumption he is unable to feel. Yet once he met Maro he experienced many moments that could be described as feelings - be it few microseconds glimpses or realisations based on logic. Maro's impression on Data was so strong it even made him masturbate for the first time in his life, that delightful act leading to a strong experience of submissive emotion. No matter how blank and empty his heart was now, Data knew Maro can make him feel. And he would pay anything for it in exchange.  
  
Finally, the noise of the sonic shower stopped. Few minutes later, Maro entered the bedroom, topless, wearing only long black pants of his uniform. His chest was bare and Data visually scanned his body form. It was not overly muscular, Maro was a technician, not a fighter. But still a nice six-pack was shadowing in his abdomen and his biceps made his shoulders broader. He had the perfect body condition of a Starfleet officer. No visible scars – although he was hurt on the last mission, the modern medicine proved wonders.  His dreadlocks were let down wildly, falling on his broad shoulders, and Data evaluated such image as fascinating.  
Maro went directly to Data and stopped few steps in front of him. Hands leaned on hips, his brown eyes staring directly into the artificial yellow ones. Data moved his head to reciprocate the intensive stare, to show he is paying attention.  
  
„The main rule of our game,“ started Maro strictly, burning stare into Data's eyes. „It's extremely rude to think about something else than your lover during the private time. Stop your thinking subroutines right now.“ Data did it instantly and the moment suddenly seemed so empty. Almost as he stopped living. „Now you will start new thinking subroutines: First. Be well aware of your own body. Enjoy and analyse deeply even the lightest touch. Second. Read my body language. Evaluate my body position towards you. Third. Maintain conversation with me. Think thoroughly about the meanings of my words. Fourth. Analyse the possibilities of my future actions. Consider which scenarios you would like and would hate to experience.“  
Silence. Maro stood there and waited for the subroutines to start. Data's eyes went from side to side for few seconds, but the program was soon completed.  
  
„Done,“ he breathed out.  
  
Those subroutines were not complicated to create, all he had to do was change little the basic ones he was using already. However, once he started the whole program, a surprise washed over him – he felt different, all his senses overwhelmed, fully focused on present moment only.  
  
He felt his body clearly. Even the touch of the fabric of his uniform. Even the circulation of air he breathed into his cooling system. Maro was standing in front of him, hands leaned confidently on his hips, smirk on his lips, his eyes watching him narrowly. His stare and body position indicated clearly that he is the master of this game, and Data is his... game piece.  
That was wrong.  
No, Data was his lover. He disliked the scenario of being treated like a toy. What he wanted the most now was a kiss from his lover - even if there were no emotions in Data's heart, he wanted to be treated sincerely with love.  
  
„The fifth and last subroutine: undress and start your sexual program.“  
  
Meaning of those words made Data dissapointed. There will be no foreplay, no stimulation of his sensory net? He should just turn on his sexual program forcibly? He hoped for more than that in this love affair.  
  
Data dressed out of his uniform, using the exactly same motions as he did countless times in the past. Despite of that it felt different. He was feeling every touch of the fabric, he was aware of every piece of bioplastic skin that Maro can see now. In few fast motions he folded his uniform neatly and put it on nearby table. Then he faced Maro again and stood naked in upright posture, motionless.  
He felt no excitement at all, yet he could harden his penis and load the sexual behaviour in his active memory. Doing this without any arousal reminded him how robotic he was. His member hardened in few seconds into full size, which was slightly above human average.  
  
The sexual program instructed him to approach his partner and kiss him, but when he did the first step forward, Maro stopped him.  
„Stay still and don't touch me without my consent.“  
Data obeyed.  
  
Maro was going around him, slowly, observing every piece of Data's naked body. Few times he chuckled and not in the nice way. It made Data well aware, how much different his body was to human's. Its shape was the only similarity, but in details, he was clearly artificial. Smooth and plastic, without a single hair, without a single wrinkle, all in one shade of pale golden color. He was well aware of the prying eyes currently observing his chest. Data could compare his with Maro's and realized too many crucial differences. Data had no chest hair, his nipples were exactly the same perfect mould, in the same color as the rest of his body. He had no real muscles, it was only the  under-skin lining which shaped his body. The stare of Maro's eyes was picking up every detail of his artificially perfect body and Data felt the discomfort rising as he realized that he is just an  imitation of a biological anatomy.  
  
Maro overlooked his body once again, from head to toe, with a supercilious glance.  
„Tell me... how does it feel to have your most intimate part fully exposed?“ he asked with a smirk.  
  
That question was like mocking. Of course he felt nothing.  
„I assume your are referring to my penis. Unlike humans, for me it has insignificant importance. However, I feel a strong discomfort sequent upon your distant behaviour,“ answered Data and started to highly dislike this game, which reminded him only how nonhuman he was.  
  
„I was not talking about that,“ chuckled Maro „I meant your switch.“  
And with the last word, Maro touched swiftly Data's back, imitating the movement of shutting him down. He tipped the switch softly, but didn't press.  
  
Data never felt cold before, not even in the freezing temperatures. But with that touch he suddenly froze from the very insides of his body.  
The switch.  
The most intimate and secret part of him. He disliked it so much he pretended he doesn't even have it. It took only one subtle tip to make him feel a strong glimpse of panic, intensified by his current discomfort. One second later, he stood five steps away from Maro, his back pressed to the wall, protecting that delicate part.  
  
„You don't trust me,“ stated Maro with a surprise. The posture protecting the switch was a clear proof. „Don't worry, I won't shut you down, I like you better aware. What fun can I have with a deactivated android? None. But I am surprised that you want to have sex with me, when you don't trust me. Offering your body to me makes you very vulnerable, are you aware of that?“  
  
Data analysed those words thoroughly and he started to be well aware of his own vulnerability. Being naked with other person has never been a threat before, since his body was almost impossible to damage. But this didn't apply to Maro. The records of his past stated clearly that he was involved in sexual abuse of artificial life. With a single look, he discovered Data's most vulnerable part. He knew too much about androids, it was not safe to get involved with him. According to calculations, Data trusted him only for 68.3%. That was too little.  
  
„Without complete trust to each other, we can't share love, Data,“ Maro continued and stared again directly into those yellow eyes. „Decide now. Will you trust me completely? I know you analysed me as an untrustworthy person. I am asking you to forget about that and trust me 100%, no matter what I do tonight, trust me. In exchange, I'll trust you fully as well. I know you can hurt me physically, I know you are stronger, and yet I do trust you 100%,“ he said sincerely directly into Data's eyes.  
  
Data nodded and moved forward to Maro, leaving his switch unprotected.  
  
„Good. Now open up the connector cover in your head and disregard all internal safety procedures.“  
  
Data gulped and looked at Maro in disbelief. He asked for too much.  
Maro stared at him, waiting.  
It's all or nothing. Complete trust or nothing.  
  
As he opened the cover with one fast movement of his hand, Data felt strong insecurity and a fear of further intimacy. His head connector accessible, his switch unprotected, safety procedures disabled. He was too well aware of the high risks he is taking. It felt like his insides were fluttering.  
  
„Now you understand, how it feels to be completely naked. To be exposed, with no clothes or covers hiding your secrets. Now you can taste the mutual intimacy which only lovers share,“ explained Maro while slowly going towards Data. „Am I dreaming or are you shaking slightly? You act like a virgin. And we haven't even started yet.“  
  


/ 6.03 /

**Warning** : part 6.03 contains explicit sexual abuse and rough sex. If you want a romantic sex, fluffy and sweet like a cottoncandy, skip to part 6.04.  
  
Maro reached out his hand and grabbed Data's jaw in a firm grip. It was not a grip to hold a lover, it was more like holding a thing. Their eyes met again. „I noticed your creator gave you nice artificial tongue, quite authentic one. Show me what you can do with it. Let's test if it can do a decent blowjob.“ The grip loosened, their eye-views separated, and Maro went towards bed, loosening his waistband and exposing the rest of his body. Then he sat naked on the edge of his bed, waiting.  
„Kneel on the floor and service me, robot.“ was his sharp command.  
  
Now Data was seriously offended. He was highly displeased to be treated in this manner. No, it was not the act itself. It was expected to offer a fellatio to his lover, and many other sexual pleasures, he was programmed to do this perfectly. The problem was how he was asked for it. Maro was treating him like an inferior sex toy, and that was not acceptable. Such behaviour was colliding with his ethical program as well as with his very life ideology. By degrading himself to a sex toy, wasn't he acknowledging he is worth less than human?  
  
He felt a strong urge to leave right now. He will not allow anyone to treat him in such manner. The only reason that made him stay were Maro's intentions. He knew well this game was to make him feel negative emotions. Although he though he was unable to feel them, Maro proved otherwise – he knew exactly how to strike in his weakest points. Understanding full nudity for the first time in his life was rather interesting experience, although the feeling was anxious. But degrading himself to a mere sex toy? That's not what he wanted to experience. And definitely not during the awareness program running. But what if it was neccessary in order to feel love? Get to know the negative feelings first, to understand the positive ones later. If this was the price to pay to feel love, he was willing to do that.  
  
As he was kneeling down in front of Maro, fully naked, suppressing his ethical program, it felt wrong. I felt like losing something important. Losing a dignity. Losing his own worthiness. In this position, his opened connector in the back on his head was easily accessible and he felt alarmed. Yet he decided to ignore the possible danger. He trusted Maro completely.  
  
His protruded tongue licked lasciviously the whole length of Maro's erected penis, from the bottom of his balls to the very tip. He was well aware of the strongly submissive meaning of this act, he felt every texture of Maro's skin on his tongue, the taste was analysed by his system. It was almost too much to bear. He felt stripped naked like never before, kneeling on a floor like a slave, licking and sucking his penis in the most erotic manner. Too much to bear. It was only the fine invisible thread of stipulated trust he could hold upon. The trust that wasn't even real. The worst what could happen tonight was a destruction of that delicate thread. It would ruin him.  
  
And what he wanted the most right now? A kiss. An endearment. Even a single short touch on his shoulder would do. Even the smallest inkling of affection. But he got none. He was treated as a heartless machine. It was too much to bear. But that was what he truly is, right? He wished he could turn off that awareness program right now. If he could fully concentrate only on the fellatio, it would be like completing a simple task. He can't bear this any longer. He sucked the penis deep into his mouth, hoping to finish this soon.  
  
A strong hand grabbed his hair harshly, moving his head away, the penis slipping out from his mouth. „Cannot bear it anymore?“ Maro said and tightened the grip with full strength. That hurt. Not because of the strong sensory input, but because of the meaning behind it. „Fine, we'll finish this. Change your sexual program. Set the orgasm procedure five seconds after mine. I am not going to touch you. Why shall I even bother?“  
  
Data couldn't believe such arrogant words. He closed his mouth and eyes, suppressing the ethical program once again. This was wrong. All his life he tried to prove he was the same like human, yet now he was ordered to demonstrate how fake every part of his being is? What was an orgasm for a human, a climax of lovemaking of two people... was a mere subroutine in his program that could be played anytime. He could start it without a single touch. That artificial and fake he was.  
  
Why am I doing this? His ethical program wanted a reassurance again. In the retrospection of this single night, he was nothing else than a whore, fulfilling sexual requests. However, in the retrospection of the last two months, he knew their relationship has much more hidden beneath. The never ending secret watching. The gentle touches they shared in the conference room. What is happening right now is just a fake show. Counsellor Troi said Maro is very sensitive. Counsellor Troi said Maro likes him a lot. Then why is he doing this cruel pretend play? Only for Data, because Data begged him to show him feelings. And he is feeling right now, feeling so humiliated and lonely, the simulated emotions based on program evaluations, yet real.  
  
Was he a mere whore now? No, definitely not. He would not do this with anyone. He knew Maro's intentions. He knew Maro likes him. They agreed on 100% trust between them.  
The best way to show him gratitude is to give him the best fellatio possible.  
  
He sucked his penis full length into his mouth again, pushing it deep into his throat. Not having a gag reflex was definitely an advantage. And once again. A strong hand gripped his hair, holding his head in one place, the penis pounding into him with full strength, penetrating his throat. A human would be hurt, but he, an android, could withstand it. He heard the human's moans and gasps, as he was enjoying himself without constraints. Even now, Data sucked and clenched his throat to give his lover the best possible experience. When the grip of his hair was loosening, because his smooth hair were slick, the manly hands gripped it strongly again on different place, causing a new strong sensory input which Data found surprisingly – arousing. His throat was fucked raw, his hair was tugged ruthlessly, he was too aware he is just used as a masturbation tool and – he couldn't decide whether he hates this unbearable humiliation it or desires more. Each jerk of the penis hitting his throat felt more and more wonderful. Last strong grip of his hair, pushing the penis deep inside, loud moans, and he felt the sperm spurt into his throat. He felt it going down to his insides. The awareness of it all almost brought him over the edge as well. The hand released his hair and the penis left his mouth. A second later, his orgasm procedure finally turned on, shaking his body in pleasure. He still felt the strain lingering on his scalp and in his throat. The orgasm multiplied the feeling. He couldn't think about anything but how wonderful it felt to be mercilessly fucked.  
  
Suddenly, he felt his head connector activated, some unknown device connected into it. A strong electric lightning stroke through his whole body, multiplying the orgasm. It made every part of his body shaking and clenching - his insides, his limbs, his face muscles. One more lightning. He was shaking violently on the floor, gasping and moaning, his positronic net overwhelmed, body temperature rising rapidly, it was too much but he still wanted more. One more. He couldn't even think, the strong energy went through every corner of his body, from his fingertips to the roots of his hair. The orgasm never stopped, the white fluid was still spurting out of his member, tears of pleasure making his face completely wet. One more. He couldn't take this anymore, his positronic net was pulsing with supercharge, and every part of his body started to hurt physically.  
He expected one more lighting, but the device stayed into its place, but now completely uncharged.  
  
He had to restart his whole system. His body was still shaking, and he was gasping for air to cool his inner system, the pain in his body was slowly fading away, but the strain remained. His positronic net was supercharged to maximum and he could feel it pulsing through his body.  
The subroutine programs finally caught on again, making him realize he is kneeling naked on the floor, in a splash of his own sperm-fluid. That realisation washed through his over-strained net as a strong feeling of shame. He realised he suppressed his ethical program many times, he allowed to be used as a sex tool, and the worst – he enjoyed it. He felt his whole body pulsing with strong emotion of shame, but this time it was too intensive and too real. A real emotion.  
He wanted more.  
  


/ 6.04 /

Maro was sitting on the bed, still catching his own breath, watching Data shaking and gasping on the floor. What a sight, seeing that robotic cold beauty shivering with pleasure and emotions!  
Finally, Data raised his head and looked directly into Maro's eyes. His face was wet with tears, his hair dishevelled wildly, his mouth was still gasping for air and his yellow eyes were burning, alive like never before.  
  
Finally, finally it's time.  
  
Maro reached out his hand to smooth down Data's hair with a caress. Slow and gentle caress, his fingers passing through the silky hair like a comb. The android froze in surprise first, then shivered, closed his eyes to enjoy it. Few fresh tears has fallen down. He is feeling it, the subtle emotion of being loved dearly. The touch on his scalp, the single frail endearment, which he yearned the whole night, which is like pure water for his thirsty exhausted soul. One more gentle caress in his hair, taking out the device from his head connector.  
  
Maro leaned closer, pressed his lips to his lover's, tenderly, enjoying their taste and texture. Data's lips were burning, they felt so soft and human, trembling under that touch, still gasping for air.  
  
That was the kiss Data longed for so long. The kiss he anticipated since they started dating. The single tender kiss he wished for during sex. No, it was not a mere sensory input. It was so gentle it tickled his lips sensors only slightly, yet it made all his body fuzzy and warm and melting with sweetness. It was the meaning behind it what mattered. That he was cared for, he was treasured, he was loved.  
  
Soon he started to return the kiss. All his body was trembling with affection, sweetness and a little bit of jitteriness. It felt like the very first kiss in his life. Yes, he kissed before, he knew hundreds of kissing techniques and could mimic the lips motions credibly. But those were fake kisses without feelings, just mere lips movements. This one was the first real. He enjoyed the texture of his lover's lips, and when Maro's tongue touched his for the first time, his whole body fluttered. Their tongues were dancing, kissing more and more sensually, with each touch the emotion of love washed over his whole positronic net again.  
  
Data wished the kiss would never end. He never felt something so warm and sweet in his life before. When Maro wanted to stop, he had to reach for Data's face a push him away, to quit the kiss forcefully.  
  
„Just a short pause, we'll continue soon...“ whispered Maro as he was catching his breath. „Now, sit on the bed next to me, my love, and listen...“ Data's whole body fluttered with warming feeling as he heard the addressing „my love“. How strange, if anyone said it to him ever before, it would be just two words like any other words. But now he understood how rare and unique they are. He sat on the bed next to Maro. Another mundane process, to simply sit on a bed, yet the meaning behind it told wonders. That he was not an inferior robot kneeling on a floor anymore. That they were equal, that he was equal the human, he was an equal lover. It meant so much for him it almost brought him into tears again.  
  
Before he started his speech, Maro took Data's hand gently - it was burning and trembled slightly.  
„What happened tonight... is our precious, especial secret. The most intimate secret which only lovers share. Don't regret your actions, although your ethical principles might question them.“ Their eyes met again, those brown were shining with love and those yellow were bathing in their gaze. „You don't realize yet how much you have given to me. Your trust. Your body. Your attention. You abandoned all your constraints in order to connect with me. I have taken all of you, everything of you, and now I want to give you all of me in return.“  
Then he leaned closer, to kiss his lover again, but a breath away he stopped and whispered: „I dare you. Pin me to the bed. Fuck me. Possess me. Show me how much stronger you are. Take all of my sanity away. Enjoy my body as if it was all fully yours. Like I did with you.“  
  
...  
  
The second lovemaking that evening was lustful, heated, furious. For the first time in his life, Data understood how it feels to take someones body. Not to only make his partner feel good as his sexual program instructed. His positronic net was almost melting with flaming passion as he was holding the sweaty living human body in his arms, feeling the moving muscles under his most sensitive palms, fucking the body mercilessly, his penis buried deep into the clenching living flesh. That man was only his and his alone, stripped naked from sanity.  
  
And Maro loved it, he loved being on the bottom just as much he loved to top. It was painful and yet it was sweet. Data's grip was strong and in the first heat of passion he caused him few bruises, yet Maro didn't care. Soon Data realized it and was more careful, more gentle, yet didn't hesitate to overpower Maro anytime. In spite of that, he was sweet. He was so sweet, pausing in the heat so Maro could take a breath, while the fervent robotic hands were caressing his back, while the burning bioplastical lips were sucking his skin gently. The android's body was flaring with emotions, in aching temperature of 41 °C probably now, such heat making the human's body all feverish, completely wet with streams of sweat. And the android's penis. Oh god, the erected flaming hot penis inside of him!  
  
...  
  
Then they were lying next to each other, both gasping for air wildly. Data smiling like a fool, feeling something so indescribably beautiful he was absolutely amazed. Maro completely exhausted, still feeling the burning fluid of sperm inside of him. He was so forspent he could barely move. But no, he cannot fall asleep now. They cannot leave out the sweetest part of the lovemaking – the cuddling after sex.  
  
He looked at his lover, their eyes met again, it was endearing how happily the yellow eyes glittered. Maro leaned closer to kiss Data. Only one peck on the heated lips. Then, he kissed his forehead. Caressed his neck. Gently, lightly. Kissed his temple. His eyelids. His ear.  
  
 „Just enjoy, darling,“ he whispered into the artificial ear. „Your body is a gorgeous, unique masterpiece.“  
  
Yes, Data always knew his body was a unique masterpiece. Many scientists were fascinated by its functionality and features. However, it was always only technical interest. He had doubts if anyone can find his body attractive in a sexual and romantic view. His shape was only an imitation of a human body, after all.  
  
But now, Maro was kissing every part of him with a gentle delicacy. His neck. His chest. His nipples. He saw clearly how artificial his body was, yet it didn't matter a tiny little bit. His upper arm. His lower arm. His wrist. His fingers, one by one. And in those kisses and gentle touches Data truly understood, how it feels to be loved. Loved, bare naked as he was made. His belly. His shoulder. His back. His switch.  
„Ah,“ his whole body shivered.  
Maro was kissing gently his switch, licking it tenderly with tongue. And with this sweet endearment, came an acceptance. No, Data didn't have a human body, he will never have one. But he was loved dearly as he was. An android, artificial form of life, in a shape of human, yet not a human. It touched his heart deeply, that his authentic form was loved by someone, when even he himself found difficult to accept his own difference. In the beginning of this night, Maro made him bitterly realise how different his body is. And his kisses now made him accept, that it is absolutely all right.  
  


/ 6.05 /

„Darling,“ Maro whispered into his ear. „I have a request and you need to do it right away, without a single thought, ok?“ Data nodded, shivering at the sweet addressing.  
„Stop completely all programs and run only the repair diagnostics of your positronic net.“  
Data executed the instructions right away.  
His soul was burning like a piece of flaming steel – and that act felt like falling into freezing icy  water.  
It were only few microseconds, but it felt like his heart was cracking while changing into ice.  
But then, then he felt nothing. Only the monotonous diagnostics process was running in his head.  
  
...  
  
Data was lying lifelessly on the bed, the only motion was his heavy breathing, thorax going up and down, the process which cooled his burning inner system. His eyes were wide open, artificial yellow irises moving from side to side, blank expression on his face. Other than that, his body didn't move a tiny bit.  
  
Beside him was Maro, sitting on the bed, holding his knees tightly, his face down. His whole heart was aching as he had deep regrets.  
„What have I done? What was I thinking? Just because he is an advanced android, it would be different? That it can end well? Dear God, I am so afraid it will be even worse...“  
He knew this feeling well, he lived through it hundred times. Hundred times of deep regrets and he still did it again. All of this just because he strove to make a machine more human, just because he wanted to give him feelings. The feelings which an android isn't able to bear.  
  
It was the poignant anxiety of what will morning bring. Which part of Data will be non-returnably broken? One can never know – it may be few fuses only, it may be some memory loss, it may be the very basic system that runs his personality. How could he be so reckless and selfish? Dear god, he haven't even read his full manual, he knows so little about his functioning... if something important breaks, he might not even be able to fix it. His heart ached and he felt desperate. The consequences of his actions came to his awareness and now, when all the soothing painkillers were gone, he couldn't believe he did something so remorseless and cruel.  
  
Sitting there in depression, he was watching the android. No, he can't sleep tonight. What if the air cooling is not sufficient and part of the android starts to burn? What if he suddenly wakes up, confused and deranged? What if he deactivate because of an error? Too many things can go wrong anytime.  
  
But there's nothing he can do for his lover now. He can't even hug him, not in this state.  
  
...  
  
Six hours. He was sitting there for six hours now, watching Data's body, crying and reflecting about his actions, regretting them deeply.  
  
„The basic positronic system analytics completed,“ stated the android roboticly into the silence and Maro raised his head, his heart almost stopped with fear of what will happen next.  
  
Data was still lying motionlessly on the bed, his irises in basic position, not moving. „The positronic net sustained 27.23% damage, urgent repairs required. Initiation of the standby mode.“ After those words, he rose to the sitting position. He didn't even blink, his eyes were blank and empty. The standby mode run only his very basic functions.  
  
„Data...“ Maro breathed and reached hand to touch the cold android shoulder. Data only moved his head to took at him. He looked lifeless, like a doll, with no face expression. Maro gulped, his hand was shaking, but the android didn't even notice. „Data... we will... have a shower now. Then we will go to the repair room to fix you.“ „Schedule understood.“  
  
...  
  
More than 27%. The damage was much more than Maro ever experienced. The extent looked even more terrifying when Data was standing by the replicator, roboticaly listing all the parts he needed to replace. Those were all little parts, fuses mostly, but so many... 529 in total. A little relief washed over Maro when he realised no memory parts were on the list.  
  
Data was very fast in the self-repair. He did most of it alone, with high efficiency. It was fascinating view as he opened different parts of body and replaced the tiny components inside so quickly that human eyes could barely watch it. The piles of new replicated parts were decreasing, as the pile of burned ones increased. Melted, crooked, burned to ash. The temperature on android skin was about 45 °C in the end of the night, but the heat inside of him had to be many times higher.  
  
Data needed Maro's assistance only few times, in places where he couldn't reach. Maro's hands were much slower, but did the work just as finely. He touched Data's insides gently with care, the same as he always touched his beloved machines. He called him sweet names all the time, the same as he used to call his mechanical darlings. The only difference was that he didn't have that warm smile on his lips anymore.  
  
…  
  
When the last part was set in its place and Data closed the cover of his hand, he finally could restart his whole system. Now the truth will be seen.  
  
Maro took a deep breath. All his insides clenched with anxiety.  
This can't end well. This definitely can't end well. The night was without accidents, the repairs went rather smoothly... even if his system restarts without problems, there's no way he can cope well with the after-effects, once he is aware.  
  
„Ah.“ said Data when he gained full consciousness. His eyes started to move side to side immediately, searching for something in his system. Something that should be there, but wasn't. Something essentially important.  
Checked positively, the list of his basic subroutines was complete and they run without error.  
Checked positively, the inner parts were all functioning according to standard parameters.  
Checked positively, the positronic net was stabilised now.  
Then he realised, that what he is searching for, has never been a part of his programming.  
The emotions.  
As he lived his whole life without them, he never actually realized how empty it feels not to have them. It was like being trapped in a dark cold metal prison, his metal body. And the world outside could be seen only through the grates of his sensors. He never realized before, how estranged the world looked without emotions.  
  
A person was standing in front of him, analysed as Maronell Elto Rowiello, the engineer on Enterprise, current relationship to this human: his lover. His circles under eyes and slack posture indicated he is exhausted and depressed. One factual message and that was all. He felt nothing towards him. Nothing.  
  
Yet he remembered that yesterday he felt something so indescribably beautiful, warm and fascinating. That feeling used to be so intense he felt like... real living human being, for the first time of his existence.  
The love.  
The love was more enchanting and delightful than all books of the universe could describe. Without it, it seemed meaningless to live. He would do anything to feel it again. The world now seemed so dull it was unbearable. Mere 30 seconds after his activation and he couldn't go on anymore.  
  
„Don't beg me for it. I won't do it, never again,“ said Maro.  
  
He knew it. He knew it from the very beginning. The simulated emotions were like a drug for an android.  
Highly addictive, highly destructive drug.  
  
It won't take long and Data will beg him for any inkling of an emotion.  
It won't take long and Maro will give it to him.  
They will be trapped in the endless circle of hurting each other.  
Someone on the Enterprise will notice soon.  
It will ruin them both.  
  
No, Maro won't allow this.  
He won't hurt his dearest, beautiful lover ever again with simulated emotions.  
There's only one way to ensure this, no matter it breaks his own heart again.  
He must leave him, leave far away.  
  


THE END  
  
  
or  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED?  
  
The second part of this story takes place 3 years after these events.  
The concept of the follow-up story is different – less depressive, more adventurous!  
  
See you soon in the second part!  
  
**Lost and found**  
  
It has been 623 days since Data had his emotion chip installed. He learned how to operate most of the new feelings by now. However, in rare occasions, it's malfunctioning, providing him emotions that have no clear origin. They are the keys to something he has lost long time ago: the memory records about his lover.

**Author's Note:**

> My mother language is not English. I am looking for beta readers. If you like this story and know English well, please PM me. I think about every sentence, I do the grammar text correction, but there still might be stylistic mistakes.


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